Im so terrible with this fact. For as careful as I try to be I have told WAY too many people! One of my close g/fs I told right away and I talked to one of my close guy friends who was my other interest when our marriage was temporarily open. I have since stopped talking to both of them about my EMA and they clearly assume it's been over. The way I look at that is old news is never interesting news worth spreading...However, both of these friends are trustworthy and very liberal minded like myself - neither one is judgemental.
Also, I have confided in a family friend of mine who is currently in prison. I go to visit him once a month and he has always been extremely premiscuous and therefore I appreciate his wisdom and experience that he shares with me in return. Currently, he's really the only person who knows and of course he has no contact with the outside world (for the most part)...
My Mother had an EMA and although I should be able to talk to her about mine - she'd kick my butt! She'd never understand and she'd make me feel terrible about it and disappointing my mom is not on the top of my list of things to do in life.
I have asked OM if he has shared our lil secret relationship with anyone and his response was "are you crazy? You're a married woman!" I was rather surprised at his response as I had assumed his best friend knew. Whenever I see his bestfriend and Im alone he talks to me, if I'm with my DH he wont even look at me. OM seems to think it's in my head! LOL
Best thing is to tell no one because as one post said - everyone has to tell SOMEONE and before ya know it 10 people know or atleast its rumored that you're having an EMA....
I've been meaning to bring this up for a while...how many of you tell your MMs/OMs about this board? A couple of times I've come close but I don't. First, MM would flip because he's so paranoid about things being traceable. But also because I feel like this is my secret weapon. It's a place I can go to draw strength and learn from others and he doesn't have that resource, so it makes me feel safer. But the other day when he was talking about us taking our R to the next level (IC), I said, "I just can't bring myself to do that because I know what happens next. I know how hard it is to get over it once you've gone that far." He gave me a strange look, like, "Is there something I should know? Have you done this before?" and I just brought up a mutual friend of ours who had cheated and said I didn't want to become like them. (They never had IC either, though, so that was stupid, but I think his mind wasn't 100% on what I was saying!) I'll probably never tell, but it is tempting at times to tell him about all these conversations I'm having over here!!!
No, I haven't told MM that I visit this place daily. He knows I visit message boards, but we haven't really talked about what the message boards are about. Honestly, I don't think he'd be bothered by it.
I want to tell MM about this board, but I feel just like you do Lilah, I just can't. This is MY place. And like you, MM and I have not gone all the way either. We're still "getting to know" each other "better" and we're still going back & forth with what we're gonna do and how far we're gonna to take this. The other day he told me that he likes things just the way they are. I can get comfortable with what we have . . . . . . but I still feel tortured about the whole thing at times.
Two people other MM and myself know of my affair...
one is a long time friend of 20 years... who I've confided just about everything over the years... she has a lot of my secrets and this is but one more.
The other is a close friend that I've know for the past 2 years... she like MM... was just someone I felt I could trust... she has my secrets and I have hers... not that she's in an affair... but she's trusted me with things that certainly could damage her life.
Other than that... I don't think anyone else really needs to know... and I won't be rushing out to tell anyone... one reason I have this place... and even MM doesn't know about it... it's a place I come to get my thoughts in order about him... and I feel that at this stage... he doesn't need to know.
My sister confessed to me about an A she was having. I didn't say a word about mine to her. My sister I do not trust to keep her mouth shut and I think she was foolish to tell a few different people about hers. Because now quite a few people in our family know and she is still married. However, I did tell a good friend at work. She tells me her problems with her H, I told her my problems with mine, and then gradually I ended up telling her a little about MM. But that was after it had been going on for almost 2 years already.
Oh and by the way, I asked MM once if he had told anyone about it. He said no. Although he has told me stories about his friends who have A's and sexual activities of some of his married friends, he claims he has told none of his friends. I don't know ... seems like the guys like to gossip too!!
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Also, I have confided in a family friend of mine who is currently in prison. I go to visit him once a month and he has always been extremely premiscuous and therefore I appreciate his wisdom and experience that he shares with me in return. Currently, he's really the only person who knows and of course he has no contact with the outside world (for the most part)...
My Mother had an EMA and although I should be able to talk to her about mine - she'd kick my butt! She'd never understand and she'd make me feel terrible about it and disappointing my mom is not on the top of my list of things to do in life.
I have asked OM if he has shared our lil secret relationship with anyone and his response was "are you crazy? You're a married woman!" I was rather surprised at his response as I had assumed his best friend knew. Whenever I see his bestfriend and Im alone he talks to me, if I'm with my DH he wont even look at me. OM seems to think it's in my head! LOL
Best thing is to tell no one because as one post said - everyone has to tell SOMEONE and before ya know it 10 people know or atleast its rumored that you're having an EMA....
liberal
callmeliberal@hotmail.com
Edited 9/20/2004 2:07 pm ET ET by seansluv
I've been meaning to bring this up for a while...how many of you tell your MMs/OMs about this board? A couple of times I've come close but I don't. First, MM would flip because he's so paranoid about things being traceable. But also because I feel like this is my secret weapon. It's a place I can go to draw strength and learn from others and he doesn't have that resource, so it makes me feel safer. But the other day when he was talking about us taking our R to the next level (IC), I said, "I just can't bring myself to do that because I know what happens next. I know how hard it is to get over it once you've gone that far." He gave me a strange look, like, "Is there something I should know? Have you done this before?" and I just brought up a mutual friend of ours who had cheated and said I didn't want to become like them. (They never had IC either, though, so that was stupid, but I think his mind wasn't 100% on what I was saying!) I'll probably never tell, but it is tempting at times to tell him about all these conversations I'm having over here!!!
Annika
Brightest Blessings, Annika
Laugh![Smiles]()
Two people other MM and myself know of my affair...
one is a long time friend of 20 years... who I've confided just about everything over the years... she has a lot of my secrets and this is but one more.
The other is a close friend that I've know for the past 2 years... she like MM... was just someone I felt I could trust... she has my secrets and I have hers... not that she's in an affair... but she's trusted me with things that certainly could damage her life.
Other than that... I don't think anyone else really needs to know... and I won't be rushing out to tell anyone... one reason I have this place... and even MM doesn't know about it... it's a place I come to get my thoughts in order about him... and I feel that at this stage... he doesn't need to know.
Sweet
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