Have you had a baby since A started?
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Have you had a baby since A started?
| Mon, 08-23-2010 - 6:18pm |
I'm just wondering if there's anyone MALE or FEMALE who has had a child since being in your affair?

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Interesting topic! I've always wanted to know that as well. If they do have a child with AP then does there spouse know?
I have a friend who has a 6 year old daughter with her AP and her H thinks the child is his. If you were to see a pic of the daughter and AP they look exactly alike. Its amazing how my friend lives with that every day. Its hard enough living with an affair let alone a child from someone else....
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
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Really? The H doesnt know but you know it?? How secret is that and damaging ??
OP, it happens.There have been cases of having AP's child here.
Exactly her H doesn't know but she confided that in me. They always say a secret isn't a secret if you tell someone but yes its very damaging and I can only imagine H's reaction if he ever found out. Her AP is also married & has a son with his W.
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
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"Her AP is also married & has a son with his W. "
So does he believe the son he has is his own? Vicious circle!
Oh my, what a terribly difficult situation to be in!
I wonder, does her AP know that the child is his? And I'm guessing they don't travel in the same circles if the child looks so much like AP?
Besides the obvious (the pain of discovery) I would be concerned on the medical front....wow, there are so many what if's!
Glad she has you to talk to Rayne...
Yes her AP knows the child is his and since they were friends for so many years prior to the affair he has seen his daughter several times during the years. I have also told her that I would be concerned about the medical aspect of it. If something should be medically wrong with her and there are questions she would have to go to AP.
I'm stressed out with my A. I don't know how she does it with there being a child involved & if H ever found out. As I said before her AP is married as well and what if
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
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I found out I was pregnant about 3 months into my A.
Wow, Just, I can't imagine the stress of not knowing who your baby's father was - especially with the "different races" issue. Did you actually have paternity testing done before birth, or did you just wait and see? I'm not sure I would have been able to sleep at all until I knew! That wouldn't have been good for me OR baby.
In the years I've been here, I've seen many people here become pregnant, with both H's or AP's baby. In most cases, when it was AP's, the woman was single - but not always. There's a reason the Jewish people only trace ancestry through the MOTHER. I sometimes wonder about a so-called "royal" lineage also. In the days before blood typing or DNA testing, who really knew?
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
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I got pregnant 3 months after my divorce was final and he was still married. Our daughter is now 16 months old, he is divorced, and things are complicated. He has trust issues in regards to whether I did this on purpose. He realizes that his marriage was over way before I came into the picture but after keeping me a secret for 3 1/2 yrs (that was how long we had been together when it all came out) he still couldn't let himself bring me out into the open. We continued to see each other after our daughter was born but he has still not connected with her and is distant. He has come to see her 3 times but he does ask about her and he does love her. He still has not told his 8yr old that she has a sister or taken our daughter to meet his parents(they know about her and I send them pictures).
We broke up for 5 months and I knew he was dating someone. Well when he came back I didn't ask about her because he had said that he would not be with me while he was with someone else. That he didn't want to be with me that way anymore but that we had to be "friends" for our daughters sake. We spent 5 months barely speaking but at times I would get hints that he wanted more. He came back and we were getting closer when I found out he was now openly admitting to everyone that he was seeing this other woman. I told her that he had been seeing me too and told him to kiss off. If you could see the emails/texts/im's I got in response to this you would laugh. He was in a complete panic but I stood my ground. I took our daughter to see him for father's day at his work (he's a firefighter so family is welcome) and he was angry, stand offish, and wouldn't even hold his daughter. We had a huge fight that ended with both of us saying it was over. Within 24-48 hrs he was using asking how out daughter was to get to me. Within a week he was asking why we had stopped being lovers and why we couldn't be. I know the answer should be simply but I love him completely so being without him hurts just as much as being with him sometimes does.
I knew he was still seeing her but I agreed to be with him again. We have been getting closer and talking more. I found out this weekend that she has moved in with him but he wants to keep seeing me too. He says he will be upset if he looses me and that he doesn't know why he can't let me go but he can't. He doesn't just want sex he wants the package from me too. He wants to be with me, share with me, no secrets between us, share time with out daughter. I asked him if she knew about me and she doesn't know the sex part but knows we exchange emails/txts that are "naughty". He said he thinks it bothers her a little but she is fine with it(mind you I told her 2 mos ago he was still with me) and that she is fine with him spending time at my house with his daughter and me. He has also made it clear that he won't walk away from me and that even if I walk he will always be a part of my life.
Having his baby has been complicated....stressful....heartbreaking but its also connected us for life(his words not mine), made my love for him grow, blessed us with a wonderful little girl, and completely changed the dynamics of our relationship.
I am at a cross-roads as to whether to stay with him or go. I know the choice should be easy but it isn't. I love him completely, he knows that, he wants that and even if I go we have a connection thru our daughter. I guess I should add that I've known since his wife found out I was pregnant that he was not capable of committing or completely loving me at this point in his life. He still has hang ups about his wife's long history of cheating(that came out during the divorce) and to this day 1 1/2 yrs later he is still finding out more. He is still very angry with her and her latest boyfriend or 4 yrs who happened to be his best friend. He talks to me about it all so I know what he is going thru. I'm not sure anyone is capable of committing or loving another until you let go of the anger and hangups from a bad marriage.
Sorry this was much longer than I intended it to be....but sometimes a lil background helps. Would I do it again.....in a heartbeat. Do
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