Have your APs introduced their children

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2008
Have your APs introduced their children
12
Fri, 11-28-2008 - 8:05pm

This is my first time posting, but I have been a lurker for a few months.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2008
Fri, 11-28-2008 - 11:15pm

I ran into my AP while at lunch about 2 years ago. He was with his son. He introduced me - he did not say how he knew me - just my name and we were all on our way. It was a little weird, but for me it was quick with limited conversation. His son is 14 years old.

I would not want to have that kind of relationship with his kids - talking on the phone etc. Unless you are long time friends who happen to be FWB, I would say be careful.

Happy holidays

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2008
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 1:54am
AP often takes a moment to call me when he's off with his 8-year old son (takes him to the Y, to mcDonalds, the park, etc.).
Carrrrrried...away2
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2008
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 10:16am

Thank you for responding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2008
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 11:10am

I haven't met or talked to his kids, but I have his grandkids. Since my h died, he has become the male figure in my dd's lives.


This is funny. I have met his grandkids a couple of times. The first time, he and his younger gs were shopping, and they went through my line. I had a break just then, so I walked them out to the truck. GS was buckled away safely in the truck and MM and I were outside the truck talking. When they got home, MM called and left a message on my phone that gs said "Heard you talking" so mm asked him what he heard and little mister four year old said "Nothing, just heard you talking". He said it in such a "know a secret"kind of voice, it was so funny.


Another time he went shopping with both boys. I was shopping also (of course this was choreographed). So, we ran into each other in the frozen food section. We talked, both boys were just jabbering to me about everything, just being as cute as two little boys are meant to be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2008
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 12:36pm

We both have two children each.

Pink Passion Flower

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 12:50pm

I have a son in his later teens.....AP has a relationship with my son, sort of like a father/big brother..they talk on the phone everyday...AP has told my son he loves him and he was his son no matter what...when AP and I broke up the relationship continued between my son and him and he still came over and provided for my son as he did any other time.....taking him to sports practice, dinner, giving him money...sitting in his room playing video games with him...talking to him about life....i haven't met his kids at all...the first one is not by his W....he said the oldest kid would just be like "OH Well" the oldest is a grown-up..the youngest..that wouldn't fly..the youngest is way protective....

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2008
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 1:13pm

Since quite a few of you have actually met some of your AP's immediate family and vice versa, am I crazy for not wanting my "friend" to meet my kids?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 1:25pm

" I said that I would never have a boyfriend/friend introduced into my kids' lives unless the guy and I were practically ready to walk down the aisle. Am I wrong for thinking this way?"

you are 100% right,IMO. Children of any age are better out of this kind of R.they dont need to go thru the confusion A's bring with them. it would be so awkward for me to introduce my near adult child to my AP.what will my kiddo think? that my mom is banging another woman's H ! yuck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2008
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 3:01pm

I've met my MMs older daughters once, very early in the affair we orchestrated a 'run in' at the mall. They played games while we had coffee and chatted. I also met his son several times when we first started, he is under two so we've spent a few afternoons together. Mainly just to see if I was really interested in a parenting a small child... and I have to admit I am. (The girls live with his ex-wife, the boy is with his current W).

He's spent a lot of time with my 16-year old daughter (I'm single), and I'm ashamed to admit that she now knows he's married. We've been seeing each other for over a year and there were just too many occasions where we couldn't explain his absence.

She still 'likes' him, but her concern for me is obvious. Over the last six months he's spent a lot less time here, his work travel schedule combined w/visits here with me was making his home life more 'agreeable'... so he's been spending more time there lately to try and bring everything to a close.

It's messy, nothing that I brag about to my few friends who know the whole deal... but it's done so I can't take it back. If I had to do over again I'd let his marriage break before introducing him to my daughter...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2008
Sat, 11-29-2008 - 4:04pm

My AP (XBF) and DS know each other well, as we were almost "a family" once. DS also earned some money doing odd jobs in AP's company and around his house.
When we broke up my DS (15 at the time) was mad at me for months. He blamed me. I never told him why we ended our R. I have not told my son (now 30) that we have reconnected... and that XBF is now my AP.

As for AP kids, he has four of them. The oldest was born here before he moved abroad. One time we met for lunch (just as friends) he had his son with him. A cute kid, not old enough to understand or talk about it.

I don't want to meet his kids now. I'm deeply in love with their dad, he is the love of my life and he feels the same way about me. Seeing us together would be a dead give away.

I would never recommend meeting the children if they're old enough "to tell" or understand what's going on,,,,


Edwina

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