Having affair with ex-fiance

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Having affair with ex-fiance
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 8:38pm
I hope I found the right message board for me. Here's my story, I will try to be brief.

I was engaged 16 years ago to the man of my dreams. We could be called "soul mates" although I really don't like that term. After one year, we broke up. I wanted to get married right away, he wanted to wait until he was established in his new career. I wanted children, he did not.

After 2 years of being depressed, I met a man who was the opposite of my dream guy in many ways. This time, I let my head rule instead of my heart. My dream of getting married and having a family was possible with him. We got married, had two children within 3 years, and then had nothing to talk about, except the kids.

I have never gotten over my ex-fiance. Two years ago, I found him via the Internet and called him. We talked and talked for hours for one year, then we finally met again. He lives 500 miles away. He comes to visit every 2 months or so, and we have a wonderful time. He is happy that I am a mother, since I wanted that so bad, and he is good with kids, just did not want his own. He was married when we first talked, but has since divorced. He is well established in his career, in fact, he is pretty wealthy.

When we met, it was as if no time had passed at all. We both look the same, and could talk all night and agree on almost everything. I would get divorced, except my husband and I do get along okay and I don't want to hurt my kids. I am starting a new career this month, and plan to make my own money (I've been home for the past 10 years).

I would like to just keep this situation as it is until my kids are grown. Unfortunately, my husband found out last month, but will forgive me if I never speak to this man again. I can't imagine doing that. The only obstacles to my ex and I getting married have been resolved, and I can see us growing old together. Am I crazy? Or do I make some sense at all?