Having A with BI

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2008
Having A with BI
16
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 12:04am

Hi girls...I'm new...and desperate to tell my secret.
Ever since the beginning of my M I've always found my BI (whom I never met b4 my M)attractive but only that attractive. There was no connection or chemistry or any feelings involved. But 5 yrs. into my M he and his wife separated and my H asked me to talk to BI and to offer a woman's point of view as to why his W left him (she felt neglected).

So we talked and it became a daily thing, even calling me at midnight to talk...and this was all ok with DH because he knew his brother was depressed and needed comfort. Well one thing led to another and the talks and comforting turned into an A.

BI and his wife have since gotten back together (they have 3 kids under 5y/o)but we never ended the A. It's going on to 2 yrs and we love each other.

The problem is that I have a great marriage (is it possible to love 2 guys equally at the same time?) and his is hanging by a thread. We both know we wont end up together no matter what (don't think my MIL would want me the 2nd time around), even if we do get D from our spouses but it would mean being disowned from both our families. So I always ask myself what's the point but my heart always wins over reason.

It's starting to eat at me...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
In reply to: gracee81
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 1:11am

WOW! It's like watching a train wreck waiting to happen..... DISASTER, DISASTER, DISASTER is what's screaming at me when I read your post. This is a very bad situation you and your BIL got going here. Maybe good for the Jerry Springer show but catastrophic for the family (as you said on both sides) all around.

You and your BIL need to come to your senses and stop this. It is NOT right and think of the kind of pain you two can heap on your poor H. It's already painful and devastating enough he finds out you're cheating.... to his brother??? Tsk, tsk, tsk....someone has to step up and stop all this selfishness! Since you didn't have the stress and burden of a bad M, I would say you need to be the bigger person and put a stop to this madness.

Sorry if I'm not too supportive. I'm not sure if you're for real.

Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
In reply to: gracee81
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 7:48am
omg, what goddess said. it's way to close to home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2008
In reply to: gracee81
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 9:10am

Oh PLEASE stop this with your BIL. It might seem HOT and a turn on, but it WILL catch up with you. If you are serious about an A, please find someone else.

Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
In reply to: gracee81
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 11:39am
Stop this before it gets physical.Cant stress enough about the fall you will experience.
Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
In reply to: gracee81
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 2:42pm

(((((It's starting to eat at me...)))))


That is a good sign it is bothering you.

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2008
In reply to: gracee81
Sat, 11-08-2008 - 2:03am

Danger!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2007
In reply to: gracee81
Sat, 11-08-2008 - 9:12am

Oh my!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2008
In reply to: gracee81
Sat, 11-08-2008 - 12:43pm

thanks girls...yes, I'm for real...and now because of you girls,i will do what I should have done from the beginning. I'm going to stop it.

The funny thing is that just last night he mentioned trying once again to make it work with his W and I was a bit relieved. Like it made my decision to end it easier. I love him, that's the honest truth but I love my husband more. After reading all your posts, I'm now sure.

I'm glad I found this board. I'll you girls know what happens. We're going to meet early next week.

Thanks,
Gracee81

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2008
In reply to: gracee81
Sat, 11-08-2008 - 2:22pm

"We're going to meet early next week. "


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
In reply to: gracee81
Sat, 11-08-2008 - 3:52pm

I agree with Emily, Grace.

Don't meet up with him - seriously - it won't end well. You don't need closure, or one last kiss. What's done is done.

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