Having the Talk
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Having the Talk
| Sun, 08-31-2003 - 2:27pm |
I'm hoping someone can give me a little bit of advice. Since I started seeing my MM 6 months ago, I've kept my guard up so I don't get hurt and have tried to ignore my feelings for him. When it first began, I thought it was just going to be about sex and would end eventually, so I never asked the important questions like if he'd ever divorce his wife, etc. In the beginning, we would go weeks without getting together, and at one point, I was going to leave the company we both work for and move 500 miles away. I've since decided it would be a bad move, and I told him last week that I've decided to stay. He hasn't shown his emotions to me much either and we haven't talked about our situation or how we feel about each other. I think the most we've said about it is that "it is what it is" and that it would have to end eventually. I know that I have feelings for him and I may even be falling in love with him, but the fact that there are so many unanswered questions drives me just batty. I can't stop thinking about him and wondering how he feels. I want to talk to him and ask him where he see's this going and how he feels about me, but I'm just not sure how to bring it up. I want to let my guard down and tell him what he means to me, but I feel guilty about the whole situation. Since I've decided to stay, I feel like now is a good time to have the discussion so we know where we both stand if we're going to continue with this.
So, I'm curious how you and yours broached the subject. Was it right off the bat or what? When did you finally share your feelings for each other?
Any experiences you could share or advice you might have would be sooo helpful right now!
~Sher

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I do empathize with you and wish you the best of luck. Sometimes it's just too hard to let things be, especially if you feel you are at a place where you maybe have more invested in this relationship than MM does, and you need to know if you have to let this go and move on.
Let us know what happens.
I was the same way. I would not be now though.
Goodluck,
Jdreamer
when i was married for 4 years, my H cheated on me with the W of his best friend and we were trying to start a family. later i found out that the W and my H were talking about leaving the two of us and starting their own family, so if i had been pregnant i would have been out on my own with a child. thankfully that didn't happen, but still.... that hurt more than the unfaithfulness. i ended up staying with my H, having 3 children and divorcing after 16 years of marriage. ending the M was my idea and i've been happy ever since.
now as for my A/EMA, i never thought this would happen. we've known each other (and his W and my BF) for many years. special circumstances with her health forced no sexual contact between them and i was hearing it from both of them, separately, more the W than MM. flirting led to action and i went into it as a 1-2 time thing, fwbs, nothing more.
incredible sex that i can't get at home, emotional connections developed over time and now we spend as much time together as we can. neither one of us will hurt our significant other intentionally. i know he will not leave her and mostly i don't want to. but every once in awhile, i wonder what our life would be like together. and then i shake it off and go on with reality.
i hope we never hurt anyone. only god knows the future.
take care,
gurl
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