He broke up with me

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
He broke up with me
14
Tue, 09-16-2008 - 12:10pm

Well I though things were going good...we were talking every day (except weekends) and we were seeing each other more than usual...and we seemed happy. Even yesterday things seemed good between us.We talked for a long time in the morning and then gain for an hour or so in the afternoon.


This morning he called as he usually does and the convo started out find but then he says my name and takes a deep breath and says that he is feeling gulity and ask me arent you? Well i ask hime "what are you trying to say" and he says "I guess I am breaking up" are you ok?" I said that I was...of course i didnt want to break down on the phone and i was also at work.


He ask if he could still call me ( we have work related issues that might cause me to have to see him rarely)


and he told me that i could call and talk to him anytime.....


I guess I am in shock right now. I am confused

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 11:06am

I am easy going and would probably be willing to talk to if that was the case...if he was honest and said that he had REAL feelings for me than yes we could sit and talk. He is stubburn though and even though he is

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 11:55am

The fact is, when there are spouses, children, houses, finances, family, friends, guilt, fear, overwhelming emotions - when all that is involved, how can ANYONE not be conflicted?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Sun, 09-21-2008 - 7:13am
I think that the approach that you are taking is PERFECT! I think he is back pedaling because he didn't get the reaction he thought he would get. He sounds a little narcissistic to me. I think that it was a blow to ego that you didn't drop to your knees, and beg him to stay w/ you. I think that you are a trooper, and are handling this very well. Whatever you do, don't change tactics. Try not to give into him if you can, but I know how hard that is, all to well. Best of luck to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 10:21am

I feel so weak! I have given in and talked to him! But I told him that things are different now and that we are friends..NO SEX and that we need to keep pur conversations to the norm and not let it lead us in that direction.


He says he understands but he keeps talking about sexual things and bringing up past times we were together and the good memories,things he would like to do ect.....I keep trying to tell him that we cant. i dont want to loose his friendship.


He has told me in the past that he never saw us ever BEING TOGETHER and I took it that he would never leave his wife for me. Then Friday we had a few moments to chat on the phone and he said "what would it be like if we were together"... in the last week he has finally broke and told me that he loves me but I am afraid its just because things didnt go the way he thought when he ended it. I care for him but cant understand why he says one thing and then says another only a few days later. i know he loves her and i told him that if he does then he needs to be with her and take care of her....yet I long for him in my life too

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