He doesnt listen to me soooo
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| Tue, 04-07-2009 - 1:38pm |
Ive been married coming up 4 years. But with him for 13. And the past few years its been a fast downhill slide for me.
I am constantly undermined, feel like an afterthought. And hes certainly never been in MY CORNER as it were. We are in financial trouble. But alot of this he's done by taking out loan upon loan without my knowledge most of the time. He wont go to councelling, talks over me about something else when I try to sort things out.And is so damn miserable its unreal.Unless hes talking about something HE likes or has done, hes not interested.
The past few weeks I have been in contact with someone I went to school with. I didnt know him. But we just met on a night out last month. Up until a few weeks back nothing was mentioned about how much he liked me,so when he told me I was shocked.This was all via the internet. We havnt been bombarding each other with mail, it was just the odd one here and there
This weekend I went out to celebrate my freinds 40th, and she had invited him. And after a few hours he said to me that I was frustrating him,that he really wanted me, and needed to kiss me. That he wasnt happy at home(usual thing a man says I know..weve heard it alllll before)The evening panned out to us kissing before we went our seperate ways. And even though he wanted to see me the next day I declined because I was being mum to my boys, and couldnt risk going out to meet him..Since then hes been texting me, telling me how much he wants me, and that hes told his wife that he wants to come back down here at least once a month to see his 'freinds' But also told me that he wants to move closer so he can get to me quicker.That hes got to sort out the crap at home etc etc. Thankfully I havnt fallen hook line and sinker for him.But from the sounds of things he has for me. Its like weve exchanged places and he is becomeing the emotional one rather than the woman. I do like him, and its wonderful to get the attention. Hes even rung me today on his way to a meeting.

Sunnyday
I see the response to you has been deleted.
My husband read the mail I sent him. And has not said a word to me. So tonight Im going to try and make him come clean about how he really feels and what he wants.
The other man.. Has done a funny thing today. After 4 days of telling me he wanted me so badley he couldnt think of anything else.Can I get away for a weekend.Can he pay my cell phone bill every month so he can talk to me,he needs to be near me etc etc. I got an email this morning telling me that at the moment he cant see us being together as both of our marriges are complicated. And can we be freinds. Is this ok.
What a bizzare turn around. Is this way of saying hold on.. or his way of telling me hes too far away and cant deal with not being near me. Just a bizzare turnaround i think. And something that I need to discuss with him on Friday(the night he says shes not there so we can talk then, this is what he put in the email) I do like him and hearing his voice yesterday when he rung me made my tummy turn.
"When people show you who they are, believe them the first time"...I love this quote.
I don't think there is any other way
I spoke to my husband about trying to save our marriage. MMMM Didnt go very well. He said alot of things that I knew he would say...I am lazy, hes fed up with coming in from work and having to do this that and the other. etc etc. From my point of veiw, hes made me like this because hes always insisted on cooking the dinner, and other chores. I do not sit around on my backside all day.. I have 3 children, impossible dont you think?. I'll get the odd look in when hes home. But then he hovvers and tells me what to do. So u can imagine thats very off putting. I told him all my concerns about the disrespect.ie letting his parents stay for so long when he knows they hate me. He doesnt realise how bloody frustrating that is for me. Its not nice.Then not discussing with me when his son is coming to stay.And in the middle of trying to sort out our marriage, he announces that his son is on his way down and is staying again. He didnt ask him to just leave it for a while as we were in a discussion. So in he strolls and we had to stop talking.
I have got the ball rolling and have decided to leave. I swore Id never have an affair while still in the marital home. And even a kiss was enough for me to think its over.If Im doing that with another man theres nothing left to save here.I told my H about leaving and he laughed at me..got quite nasty and then as usual his son let himself into the house, mid conversation.