He ended it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2010
He ended it!
7
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 1:57pm

I went to my new pad (lol) to clean, and text AP and told him to come over. He replied that he could not overcome this guilt that he has been feeling. I asked him if he was ready to end things. He said that he will never be ready and things had to end because I deserve more than he can give me. I told him that he was a coward and that it is his loss. He agreed and stated that he can not act on these feelings.


So he came over, right down the road from his place. He was riding his motorcycle (WTF!!) he looked so fricken sexy. Of course we had the break up sex for one last time and then he told me that he wanted to be friends, and if there is anything I need to call him. He was freaked out when he found out how close to his place that I am moving, said she would know that I am living there alone, so there must be some kind of something going on. I told him that I loved him and always would, he was worried about me hating him. He also said that I could never find a good man if I was still having this affair with him. He said that i am great and deserve someone who will treat me right and sadly that was not him. He never wanted to hurt me was just there to set me free from my R.


I am sad but not really hurt, for some reason I think that he will be back. he said you never know what will happen in the future, that maybe things will work out later. I asked him if he would be ok with seeing me with another man, eventually when I was ready to find someone new, and he said no and continued to give me advice on where to meet someone and to stay out of the bars, he doesn't want me to find some drunk and doesn't want me to just go home with anyone just for the sex. So I am at a point in my life where I need to make a change and do what is best for me. It will be hard but I can handle it.


Before he left, he checked out my place and made sure the locks worked, and told me that he was scared that I will run back to BF when things get tough.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2010
In reply to: army_mom1130
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 2:16pm

"He never wanted to hurt me was just there to set me free from my R".


Did he set you free before or after he climaxed? He'll be back!


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
In reply to: army_mom1130
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 2:47pm

Sorry to hear that he ended it, but glad to see you're trying to stay positive about it.


None of us know what the future holds.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
In reply to: army_mom1130
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 3:50pm

Hi Army_mom,


I'm sorry that you are feeling sad but not hurt about the situation. I genuinely think he does want the very best for you and is being honest with you & himself when he says the guilt is overwhelming.


I also feel he's right when he said:

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
In reply to: army_mom1130
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 3:58pm

I'm not sure he'll be back or not - he really MIGHT have your best interests at heart. Are you prepared to stay away from the relationship you left, even if you're alone? You said you were leaving for yourself, because your R was terrible, not for AP, so it shouldn't change that decision. You really ARE free now to start a good R with a man who can be all yours!

You can lurk OR post here army_mom. You still belong. :-) If you move on over to EAS your mindset will probably be different and you won't want to post here anymore. If you're not ready to post there, you can still lurk and read the "healing library" at EAS. Lots of things to help you there.

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2010
In reply to: army_mom1130
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 6:23pm

To be honest, it was going to be an easier break, if I had

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2010
In reply to: army_mom1130
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 8:04pm
these situations have a shelf life for sure. but pls know that rejection is god's way of protection and every one who touches us, teaches us. he sounds like he wants to do the "right" thing. so let him. respect his wishes with your self-discipline and will power. take one day at a time, literally and b4 u know it 4 months will have gone by. it won't be easy, and u will cry. stay positive and strong & good luck with it all my dear.
when one does not love too much, one does not love enough --blaise pascal
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2010
In reply to: army_mom1130
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 9:21pm

A couple hours ago I was fine, now I am not so good. Stupid me was going through my phone to delete some messages, and re-read all the texts from him. I don't know how to deal with all of this, I guess take it day by day, I know he will be back and I do not think I can handle going through all of this pain a third time, once was bad enough, you think I would of learned the first time, anyway going to cry myself to sleep tonight, I hope to sleep, I just wish that you could turn off your thoughts and just forget about how much you are hurting..... i hope he is thinking about me and kicking himself in the ass for ending things!!!!!