HE HAD A STROKE!!!!!
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| Fri, 01-16-2009 - 8:42pm |
I was slowly starting to pull away from him, but something ALWAYS something keeps me there just a little longer.
I had not talked to him since last friday. I found out today through mutual friends that he was in the hospital. He went yesterday. He had a mild stroke. I know wife is there. Kids there. So i cant call cant call, text or visit. Affairs often show you what you cant have: Its a fantasy ......you cant be there for that person when you want.
We have been together for 2 years, and i really want to wash my hands of him, but cherish his friendship. I am married also. He was in the process of working overtime so he could have money to leave his wife, because he was so unhappy.
Has anyone had this happen. What do you do? Nothing right? Of course......

Oh dear, I am so sorry. I'm actually dealing with those feelings right now, and you're right, you do nothing.
My AP (he's M, I'm OW) was hit by a car earlier in the week while I was on the phone with him. I worried for 22 hours before I finally got a call from him saying that he was home and recovering.
That was Monday/Tuesday and I've heard from him everyday since, but it's been the most challenging of all our tough times (and that takes a LOT!). It doesn't help that we'd been trying to break up for weeks, were actually having a very emotional conversation when it happened, just bad, bad timing.
Anyhow, my feelings have been hurt 40 times this week because I'm in the dark, can't help, feel like saying: SEE, this is why we have to end it... ug, I've done my best to keep my mouth shut and let him heal, but it's been very tough. I totally understand how you feel, the lack of "deserving" to know killed me over and over.
I'll give you this advice: he's going to be very heavily medicated for a few days and this will probably make him say things with less tact than normal, then he won't even remember that he said them, etc. Mine also acted like it wasn't that big of a deal initially (think he didn't want me to worry, the 'man thing'), but then later is revealing just how banged up he is, how affected he is by the meds, etc. He will also likely be having some "life changing" thoughts, you know, a wake up call and that may make him pull away for a while.
He called in the middle of my typing this, and we had the 'best' conversation about this week's events that we've had so far. I'm pushing him to recover, we can resume the "about us" deal in another week or so... I can already tell that he's returning to normal and wants to make sure he didn't 'lose me' during those horrible days.
For me, as awful as it sounds, I'm hoping this is the final nail in the proverbial coffin. I refuse to live through another day like that again, I deserve more. However, I too cherish his friendship and truly want him to recover.
Sorry for rambling too much about my deal, but it's so similar I hope you find some help there. Good luck!!!
Dag, it must be a rough week for APs! My AP was in a fairly bad car accident this weekend past. There was an elderly man driving next to him on the beltway, and he passed out, and side swiped AP's car, and pushed him into the Jersey wall. Then the elderly gentlemen crashed into the wall in front of AP. To make things worse AP threw the car in parked, or so he thought he did, and went to see if the guy needed any medical treatment. When he got out of the truck it started rolling backward and knocked him down, and caused a serious injury to his shoulder. I didn't even know it had happen until Wednesday. AP stayed home from work! I thought that the only time he would miss work would be for the second coming of Christ! I mean he never stays home. So yeah my baby is under the influence also.
I hope that both of your APs will have a speedy recovery. I'll make sure mine is fine ;)
Hey Justice, just a note of caution.
Wow - does sound like a rough week for APs this week!
Wishing everyone a speedy recovery physically and mentally.
hi girls!!!
Thanks for the words... He texted me today saying that he was soo sorry and he had a lil stroke. He tells me that he cant talk much ( i know W is like a watchdog now), but he will be back to me.. and not worry.
So here i wait..