He has a GF - I slept w/ him twice
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| Thu, 09-04-2003 - 9:56pm |
I met this guy at a friend's party last weekend and we slept together that night at my place. Well the thing is, he has a GF. He told me that in the beginning I guess trying to explain what his intentions are from the get go, but I was a little drunk, not thinking correctly and went thru w/ the sex and all. So then we have been talking here and there since thne and its mostly sexual talk , some serious talk and he took me out to dinner last night and AGAIN I slept with him. Okay so here's the kicker......I think I like have a problem. This is not right to do - why did i sleep with him again? , I mean he has a GF who he lives with, they have been together for 6 years ( yea they are not married ) and he lives like in the same area as me too - ironically. So I think he is very attractive and the sex is awesome! But I have cried to him and told him that I cannot just have sex w/ him, i guess that woman in me, is too attached in a way and doesnt/cant be attached to him because he has a GF obviously and he's not going anywhere. He wants a sex buddy bascially. That makes me feel so dirty! Lke out of my nature ! But we have discussed that he feels so upset that he has upset me this much ( i guess he isnt used to that type of reaction? - scary that some women are so open to have sex and move on, but i guess we're all different right ) So now it's like okay we are just 'friends w/ no sex.' I know that if we continue the sex it will just get worse.
Get this though......after having the sex with me, seeing me go through the pain and tears in such a short amount of time that we've known each other, he tells me this - - that he is starting to see that maybe this screwing around and cheating on his GF thing is NOT a good idea. So i'm assuming i am to be the one that opens his eyes? I dont know if i should smile or cry, because its like gee thanks ! I mean im one for morals but it is like gee thx. What about my feelings?
Exactly right? What about my feelings. I feel like this head over the bag chick (( although he repeatedly said i was not - but he'd say that right ))
My gosh i think im too smart for this stuff and here I go again w/ the confusion. Sometimes I want to fall to my knees crying as to when i'll meet and BE w/ a man who is SINGLE!!
** my track record - - last year i ended a 1 1/2 year affair w/ a married man.
If anyone, anyone at all can please feed some advice, etc or if you had an similair experience. I'd greatly appreciate it. Im really hurting. Although I know im not the only one, but I am just asking for some help.
Thank you :(
Tammy

So I didnt do anything wrong really huh. Yea he is not married so i see what youre saying. Yea I guess some people can just use a sex buddy. I dunno, i'll take it day by day. It is just sad though. I cant believe people just do that sort of thing. But oh well. We'll see I guess.
I mean the sex is good though lol ( sorry TMI )
Thanks again hon
Tam
I dated my husband for 4 years and we've been married for 8. It seems to me that our morals are a lot higher when we are single sometimes. I guess that is a testing period, no one wants to mess up when they haven't won the price yet!! there are a million things i thought we're disgusting 10 years ago that i am a lot more accomodating of now. But this is really nothing to beat yourself up over. If the sex was bad then that would be a different matter!lol!!
Do you NOT think that I DONT KNOW that I need to get myself out of that rut , BUT um no actually I dont think I'm afraid of committment ~ all I did was have sex w/ this guy who chose to have sex w/ me even though he had a GF.
I think he needs the therapy more than me when it comes to whose at fault here. I mean hello, he has a long track record - he like cheats on his GF like it was a 2nd hobby or something. Someone I would def. not want to hook up with this guy long term.
I know it's not rocket science - i'm smarter than this, that is why i am kicking myself now. But really i shouldnt i guess. Just move on and learn my lesson.
I have got a mixed bag on this from friends, etc. Some say he is at fault mostly and that I should just pick up and move on. I hurt because I know i'm better than this and I dont want to feel like this anymore ...
I still feel horrible in ways, but time takes its part in healing all the heartache.....and yea I may not really know the guy that well, but I don't think we'd work out anyway....I mean okay, so he has a nice chest, really really nice truck and he's just completely handsome/hot - but it's not worth the ache and pain in the long run. Its like you can go in and have some fun in bed, but what happens when you go on w/ your life, when sitting here at work trying to keep my mind occupied and not on my evil acts w/ a 'taken man'. I just want to bundle up my tear and wish i was just a light switch so to say w/ my feelings, so i wouldnt have to feel so icky inside.
Thanks though, i really appreciate your input.
Take care
tammy
Thanks
Tammy