he made me mad last night.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2008
he made me mad last night.
2
Sun, 10-19-2008 - 9:49am
I was so excited last night bc I was going to see AP's new apartment and we'd have a few hours to spend alone. I told H i was going to see an old friend and AP's GF was out of town for the night. So I went over pretty late bc he'd had a looong day at work and didn't get home till then. Needless to say he was pretty tired, but we had our fun if you know what I mean. Well we were in his living room and that was fine but i suggested that we use the bed. Now flash back a few months to when my H was out of town for a few days.. AP came over almost every night and we had sex in various places including the bed. Well he didn't seem to have a problem with that. After I suggested we use his bed, he said no. He said he'd have to change sheets then, like it'd be such a hassle when she doesn't even come home till later tonight. That just made me mad. I felt like maybe he didn't want me in the bed that they share and I had allowed him in mine. So we had our fun in the living room, which was fine then I guess. Then we were done and watching TV and I still had almost two hours to spare yet and he said I'd better get going. He said H would probably be wondering where I was and that he needed to shower and get some sleep. I mean it's not every night I can get out of the house OR that his GF is out of town. This never happens. And he says I should get going??? Then he could tell this was upsetting me so he said I could stay a little longer. So we are lying there and he starts touching me like he wants to go at it again. And of course I can't resist the man, so I don't say no, even though I am pretty upset with him at this point. So we go again and then he says Ok well he really needs some sleep now. I felt like such a wh*re last night. I was so excited to see him and it just felt like he needed some sex and that was it last night. It never seemed that way before. I don't know if I should take this as a sign that maybe he doesn't really love me like he says. I know him and GF are just fine, as he was on the phone with her when I got there and he was being normal and nice with her. I really don't think they have problems at all, but he says they do. I'm starting to believe I really am just the side dish here. I am doing all the lying about where I'm going and changing my schedule around to fit in even just a 10 minute meeting with him wherever is convenient for him. It's like if it werent for me pulling strings here and there, we'd never see each other. and I'M the one with a FAMILY. ugh. I'm so caught up in AP and it seems like he's just not giving as much effort anymore. Maybe I was being oblivious and he wasnt ever putting any effort anyway. I don't know. I'm just very aggravated right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Sun, 10-19-2008 - 9:57am

Listen to your gut. Actions do speak louder than words, and his actions seemed to indicate you're just some "fun on the side". When it was obvious you didn't want to leave earlier, he decided to have more sex rather than, maybe, have a good chat or cuddle up.

Don't base your opinion on this ONE time, but think about all the times and what his general attitude is. If it's like pulling teeth to get him to meet up with you, that says something. If it's always you initiating contact, that says something. Inside, you probably know how he feels - listen to what your inner self is telling you. Don't base your opinion on what I've said or what anyone else says.

Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2007
Sun, 10-19-2008 - 6:10pm

I agree with lexione luckylady....


Please see that he is USING you..I'm not trying to be mean..but I have been in this situation myself and I have ended my A and am on NC and believe me it hurt for a while but man do I feel so much better now already because I am no longer being used and treated like a piece of skirt.


I could relate to your story..I had the same thing..I was the one initiating most of our talk and meetings and when we did it was on HIS terms and when his W was not around and then he would want me to leave soon after.