he said "he's done"....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2004
he said "he's done"....
8
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 7:24pm
Right now I am in the worst state of denial I could possibly be in -

I thought I was sending a perfectly happy MM away for him to come back to me just as perfectly happy -

But when he called me *I just knew*

It wasn't the same --- there was stress, frustration, hurt, denial, guilt, sadness, and many more feelings that for 2 years hasn't ever been addressed

He simply said the words I knew I could never say and those words were

"I'm done..."

to which I responded...

"you're done with what ?? your vacation ?? I hope so I have been dying to talk to you"

him "no...I am done with this ...you and me all of it ... I can't do it anymore"

I was at a loss for words and within that time of a few seconds he quickly said

"do what you have to - to move on - I am an ass I know - good bye"

and that was that -

when I scrambled to call him back I just got the same

"Im done...and he used my name" --- he never uses my name unless he is serious

Now I have to move on --- but the anxiety over this is nauseating

NC for almost a month now - I am in such a state of denial right now I want to just assume he's on vacation -

I would have NEVER in my wildest dreams have expected this

We had plans for Saturday -

My instinct is to just go and see if he's there - I feel he's protecting me from something but I just don't know what -

I can't begin to descibe all the emotions right now

Kikki

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 7:35pm

Kikki hon... I don't know what to say that would make this any easier for you... whatever happens... I hope that you won't let this defeat you and you will come back a stronger and more determined woman.


my thoughts are with you.


((((((((((((((((HUGEHUGS))))))))))))))))))


Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 9:00pm
Oh Kikki-

So sorry for what you are going through. Hang in there and take a deep breath.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 8:29am
Kikki honey, I really feel for you. I hope you can get thru this okay. I've been in almost 3 weeks NC now, and same as you, I was just hoping he was on vacation or something but I know he is not, he is there, but just ignoring me. If it's any consolation, at least you got a goodbye of sorts so you can try and work on closure for yourself and the A. I never got anything from him and so am left in Limbo Land. Take care,

Dusty

xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 8:44am
((((((Kikki))))))

After reading your posts on this board, I was shocked to see this this morning. I am SO sorry and I wish I had something wise to say that could somehow make you feel better.

After the initial shock and hurt wears off, I think that I would ask him for an explanation. You have given him two years of your life and you deserve to be told why he has made this decision. After so many happy times, it's unfair and cruel to end it in such an abrupt manner. Don't let him off that easily. You deserve more than that.

My thoughts are with you. Stay strong.

Jess

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 10:34am
I am so sorry you are going through this. It cannot be easy. I can only imagine that you are feeling totally empty right now. I am waiting for those words any day now and have no idea how I will handle it (except cry). Maybe in a few days you can contact him see if you can get a better explanation. Hang in there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 10:41am
I agree with others- you deserve an explanation. Stay strong, keep your head held high- YOU are not the issue here. I think it is the situation.

But do get an explaination. If he is any type of decent man (or adult for that matter), he needs to respect you by devulging his rational.

Tons of hugs to you my dear. I hate the pain myself.

<>>

V.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 10:50am
Kikki

I don't know what to say that might ease your pain. I wish I did. All of us can relate to your situation, as it that which we all fear. The pain you feel will only be cured by time. And as it ticks by, you should know that there are many here who are ready to support you whenever you need it. Remember, none of us know what awaits us around the next corner - and that includes him.

I know you don't feel strong right now. You probably don't even feel much like trying. Just know that we are all thinking about you.

N x

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 11:01am
Hey sweety,

I know exactly how you feel. This same thing happened to me a few weeks ago, when my xMM came back from vacation with his family. He did meet with me, and he wrote me a letter, which, I guess was some sort of consolation - but it has been very difficult.

I just want you to know that you can get through this. I am. There will be good days and bad days. The emptiness is still there for me, but eases each day.

Try to remember the good times, don't question anything (I did that - it doesn't help). Try to keep your mind occupied, as hard as that may seem right now. I recently went out with a bunch of girlfriends, and I think it was the first night that my mind was completely off xMM and my current situation with my H. It felt really good for a change.

Anyway, please know that I'm here for you if you would like to talk. And you can also email me anytime red_bella37@hotmail.com

(((((Kikki)))))

Take care of yourself first

Red