He is seeing someone besides me!!!
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He is seeing someone besides me!!!
| Sat, 01-10-2009 - 5:16pm |
I have been seeing my ap for three yrs. To make a long story short, I had a feeling he might be screwing around on me- he denied it. Well, we were going to get together on Thursday night , but he said he had family stuff to do. I passed his office on the way home and I saw his office light on. I was gonna stop by but then I saw a car next to his. I sat and watched- well, he came out of his office door with a girl. He and her hugged and kissed. I am devestated. I know he is just my fwb, but I am really hurt - I guess I thought his office was sort of like mine too. I wonder how many girls and times he has had in the office! I feel so stupid! I want to end this. I have wrote him a letter. I plan on reading it to him and then take the letter with me nddestroy it. I m so hurt

He is a serial cheater....
Man that SUCKS! What a piece of crap! I mean none of us are here for singing to loud in the choir, but you have to have some boundaries. That takes cake eater to a whole new level.
I'm sorry that your AP has done this to you, and I would be devastated to find out that my xAP had done that to me. I think you have the right idea though. Read him your letter, and then boot that butt to the curb.
I think one of the major benefits to being in an A (besides great sex) is if one guy (or girl) pisses you off, you always have the other to fall back on. I know that doesn't sound very nice, but it is "our" reality.
Take some time out to pamper yourself, and have some you time. As a mother myself, I know how difficult that can be, but if you made time for AP, you can make time for you. It may do you some good. I hope that you're able to work through this relatively quickly. Best wishes.
I too feel that reading a letter is a waste of your time. But, if it will give you closure then do it. I don't think he will all of a sudden see the light after he hears it. It could even turn out ugly where he could get defensive. You may end up more hurt and degraded.
The best revenge is to walk away like you didn't care for him and for him to see you living a full happy life. I wish you well.
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."
- Ramona L. Anderson
Maybe this would help. Try looking at it for what it was. An affair. Not a love affair. An affair. Not dating, not planning a future, not meeting the folks, not picking out china. Just an affair. Sex in the office, stolen moments, whatever. While you chose to only do it with him, he has obviously chosen to do it with you AND someone else, maybe even several someone elses. When it all boils down, what else can you expect, really? It's not like you had a committment together. Is what he is doing wrong? Yes, it is. But what he is doing with you is wrong, too, so it's all a matter of degrees. Is he being tacky? Of course. Piggish? Yep. But the bottom line is that he didn't take a vow to remain faithful to you. Nor did you. In reality, "faithful" isn't really a word that can enter the equation in these situations, because both of you are being unfaithful to someone else. So it's really a moot point.
You say you have a good husband. So learn from this, go home and love him. While you still have him there to love. There are plenty of women out there that would like to have a good husband. If he were to find out you had cheated on him, he just may put himself in the pool of available ones. Do you really want that? Forget this clown. He isn't worth it in any way whatsoever. Later him. If you feel you absolutely have to have the whole read-the-letter drama, then do it. But I wouldn't even bother. I'd just pull the train out of the station, so to speak.