he told his W everything ! now what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
he told his W everything ! now what?
7
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 3:02am
He told his W about us. Said it was to get her out faster ! He is still not calling me. This is so hard. He said he doesn't know what he wants right now. The emotional stuff he is dealing with right now has got to be devastaing to say the least.. I know I have got to wait for him to sort everything out and all the peices to fall together. I don't want to lose his love. I am praying for him to have the strength to get through all this change without changing what he feels for me. Do you think love will bring him back? I have got to believe in miracles right now. This is the turning point. It has to go one way or the other. I understand that I could lose him forever. Talk about hard !!! This is it guys !
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anonymous user
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 7:28am
Trouble

You have to believe that if he loves you, he will be with you when all is said and done. You sometimes have to kiss it up to God and realize there are times in life where you have no control over what happens. You've given this man your heart and he knows that. So stay strong and know that it will all work itself out and if this is the man for you he will be with you.

If it doesn't work out the way you would like just always tell yourself that you are strong and worthy of a great relationship with a wonderful man, and it will happen.

Always believe in you!

dd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 7:41am
Trouble,

Try to relax and give it some time. There are probably so many things going on right now. Are kids involved? That can also add a completely different dimension to the situation. There are some things that only he can do, but I am sure he knows you are there for him.

If you feel comfortable you could just send a letter to work just telling him you can't walk in his shoes or even begin to know how he is feeling right now, but that you are there for him if he needs you. Sometimes it helps just to be able to do something. When I went through this it also really helped to be able to keep myself busy and surround myself with friends.

Just give it some time.

tb

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 8:46am
Trouble: I agree with deedee! If love is true and real then separation can't dim it. Of course, that doesn't guarantee a "happily ever after" ending. Love is important, but it isn't always enough - there has to be a willingness to make the changes necessary to be together. And that is NOT easy at all. All I can say is hang in there. And take care of YOU. Go out with friends, pamper yourself, etc. Stay busy. And be prepared to move on if that is what it comes to. Keep us posted - K?

Deedee: Thanks for what you wrote about "kissing it up to God". I needed to hear that today.

Peace

GB2

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 6:19pm
Thanks for your support guys!, Now that he has told her I am sure that the word will spread all over the community! She isn't going to keep this to herself! And how do I deal with it? People don't always except this stuff! I don't want people to think I am a WH-RE.

I can't deny it! I will just have to tell them I love him! What will that do if he decides to move on with his life without me? Do you think he is feeling any pain for me? Do you think he even thought of what this would do to me? Why would he tell her if he didn't plan on staying with me? The kids must know now too. I am sure she will rub it in trying to take away their love for him! Why would he not see that if he encludes me in all this it would save face with the kids. If they know that their father fell in love with me and I with him, Something beyond our control, would that not ease the pain? especially knowing that they were only married for convenience which they already have known that!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 2:23am
any thoughts appreciated!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 2:34am
I know that it is hard being patient for things that you want so bad. But in this situation the best thing is to wait and let him know that you are waiting for him and supporting him. You don't want to add any other pressures to him because he might just say that he needs space and shuts you out inadvertently. Right now he needs to stand on his own during this fight and be there after to hold him up.

Missy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 4:24pm
I know that is what I should do. I just wish I could talk to him one more time to tell him how I feel. I know he knows, but I feel like he might slip away from me if he doesn't hear it all again. I ache for the chance to say I LOVE YOU to him. I want to hold him and tell him that everything has a way of working itself out. He told me last time we talked that everything happens for a reason. I want to know what the reason for all my heartache and emotional pain is right now? I can't say that I am sorry for falling in love with him. It was beyond my control. I fought it for almost a year. The whole married thing . We are truely best friends. That hurts so bad too that I know he is doing things with his other friends that don't mean half as much as I do to him. I want him to be happy though. I just can't see him happy without me in his life. He will always feel empty inside if he doesn't choose to return to me. The end is not here for us yet. I have not showed him all the love I have inside for him yet. This probably sounds crazy to you, but I do not know how to go on without him in my life. It is just not meant to be that way!