He wants a kiss...HELP!!!
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| Tue, 09-09-2003 - 4:30pm |
It's been three weeks. Last June or so there was also a three-week time when he gave me a hard time. Exactly three weeks, both times. Odd. During the three-week times, he still talks to me, still is mostly the same, but we have some rough days where we don't see each other as often and he really pulls back during these times. I pull back and give him his space, but it's hard. Really hard.
Well, apparently he's back to normal again. End of three weeks, poof, like magic, he's back. Yesterday he came into work for just a small amount of time, just to see me, and I could tell instantly he was out of his bad spell. Can't explain it; he just was 100% back. Then today I called him just because I couldn't stop thinking about him, and he asked me to talk dirty to him. I acted all coy -- I mean, you can't just launch into that stuff -- but we did have a conversation that was very much like old times. Gosh, I've missed that. During the conversation he said he was "going to kiss me." He didn't say it would be today, but it sounded like it would be soon. What do I do? Well, I know what I WANT to do, but how do I avoid going down that path again? There are two major risks involved in going back to kissing -- 1) HEARTBREAK. I know this guy well enough now to know we're in a pattern. We wind up and up, then he has to wind back down again, but each time he winds a little bit further before having to wind down. But the winding down period just hurts SO, SO badly. I tell myself I can handle it, but can I? Even more importantly, can I avoid it? 2) DISCOVERY. The chances of someone walking in on us during one of these kisses are slim, but still there. We are at work, for heaven's sake, and there's no way to go anywhere else. As slim as the chances are, if someone caught us...if ANYONE caught us, I would be mortified. Humiliated. Destroyed. I just can't take that risk.
Okay, guess I answered my own question! But it would help to hear from others. Maybe get some reinforcement that I am doing the right thing. I have to be strong. I have to find a way!!!!!

I wonder if at your work someone 'cautioned' him about his behaviour at work?
Mine was really mind blowing-after a great Friday lunch, I called him from the road on Monday, and he answered with a "I'm kinda busy-what do you need?" in a brusque way. After Friday, it kinda crushed me.
I emailed him the Tuesday the next day, asking if he wanted to hang out at lunch, and he emailed back, saying 'too late-maybe tomorrow". I emailed him that NEXT day with an invite to hang out, and didn't get any answer back. And the last time I've talked to him was almost 3 weeks ago that Monday. We had that great lunch exactly 3 weeks ago.
I found out that his dept. is going thru some heavy-duty stuff, and I think one of the bosses got to him, being seen with a married woman and him single.
One of the managers I'm friendly with told him that "Jane Smith (me) was concerned about you, George-she hasn't heard from you and thinks you're mad at her" and he answered to the mananager, "It's not her-I've just been really really busy".
But c'mon-he'd email me back on my cell phone, and at work.
It sounds like the powers that be got to him and threatened him with his job. He's a manager too.
What I'm saying is that perhaps someone higher up than he is putting pressure on him.
It sounds like he needs his monthly "Lilah Fix"... he's attracted to you, wants to act on that attraction but for his own reasons (family, work, whatever) is scared to take it much further... but can't resist the temptation of getting his "fix" from you after he's backed away for a while. And kisses are harmless, right? (Yeah, right, but as long as you're at work, they *can't* lead to anything else).
Go back and reread your post. If it had been posted by someone else here, what would your advice to that person be? It's an exercise a friend suggested *I* do lately, when she noted that my advice to others and my own actions were rather... inconsistent!
Good luck,
lily