He was so close to me today

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2008
He was so close to me today
Wed, 01-28-2009 - 1:37am
I thought my xap was transferred- I knew it was happening, the last times we were together he was still waiting on a date but knew he had to be in the new place in Feb, I hadn't seen his vehicle when I drove by his office (it is right by my house. There is no way for me not to drive by it excpet to not leave the house) so I assumed he finally got transferred.
Then I saw his vehicle the other day and for some reason I was so happy; happy he was still close by and happy he didn't leave without at least saying good bye although I do believe that is what will happen. We haven't spoken since the begining of Dec when we got caught and my heart breaks over him. So, I wish that he would just email me or something when he does leave to say he was leaving and goodbye.
Well, I was driving home today with my son and I saw xap pull out of the parking lot and was right behind me on the road. I know he knew it was me because my car is distinctive in this small town. There is no doubt it's my car. He slowed down but followed me up to the point in the road that takes you to my house; he can still go that way to go home and maybe he normally does, I don't really know, but he turned off to go behind my development and I felt both relieved and sick with heartache.
Is that weird? To be upset and relieved at the same time over such a close but not event??
And why am I not over him yet??? He was on my mind so strong the last two days, it was almost like I "wished" him into my line of sight, lol!