Hello intense ? here...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2008
Hello intense ? here...
5
Tue, 10-20-2009 - 3:18pm

Hello all and thank you for reading this...


i was having an A with this man for 3 years, when the day after i was with him, he suffered a stroke.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2009
Tue, 10-20-2009 - 4:33pm
First of all, you must really love him. Still wanting him even though he is sick and needs more than he can give. But also keep in mind that when someone is ill...family is where he'll turn. Maybe his W has been wonderful through this and he appreciates her more. I think maybe him not talking to you is about him trying to figure things out. If you are in the picture, he can't be objective. Love him enough to give him space. Move on with your life as if he's out of it. If he comes back you can go from there depending how your feelings have changed over time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2008
Tue, 10-20-2009 - 5:11pm

Thank you for your reply...


I do love him, I always have.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2009
Tue, 10-20-2009 - 5:31pm

I totally understand, really...but realize that because you would never leave your H, there is no future in this. A normal 'friendship' wouldn't be this intense. But you are having an emotional affair. I'm not saying its right or wrong, I'm nobody to judge BUT I will tell you this EA will be an emotional rollercoaster. Somedays big highs, and others total frustration. You obviously are frustrated now. The only way to get over this is no contact but its not easy I know. It does get easier every day though. And of course, I i've learned the hard way, an EA can become a PA so easily and then its so much harder.

read the boards here. My story and others. It will help you put some perspective on this as well as distract you from your thoughts now.

Hang in there!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 9:08am

I would also keep in mind that your AP might really be feeling that you might not want him in your life anymore - at least not as a lover - since he's so sick and has been so seriously ill. He might be questioning whether he wouldn't be a big burden to you, in a way.

If I put myself in his place, I might feel that way. I might also be simply not interested in a sexual relationship anymore, having just been so ill, and feeling like my lover might be very disappointed if all I could handle was friendship.

There could be a lot of things in his mind, but you have to be able to talk to him to figure out what he's thinking.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2008
Sat, 10-24-2009 - 1:09pm

Joce, yes i know there is no future in us.