help

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2010
help
9
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 9:16pm
Hi I have been having an affair with my brother in law for about 3 months. This last week he stopped letting me touch him or cuddle him. We live in the same house. I talked about it with him last night and he told me he wants things to go back to the way they were before we started messing around. The problem is that I am so very depressed now. My husband doesn't give me the attention I need and my brother in law gave me plenty attention. So now I am heartbroken and can't get over him. Every time I look at him I t makes me want to cuddle him. I want to be with him not my husband but I know I have no chance with that. Any advice would be great thank you
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
In reply to: kaylee0967
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 9:24pm
uhmmm to this i would say this is a no no,

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
In reply to: kaylee0967
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 9:32pm

Kaylee I remember your post from a while ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2010
In reply to: kaylee0967
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 9:42pm
He has no where to go we are the only place he has. I wish he didn't live here because I can't take the stress but it is here or on the streets. Also we need his help paying the rent. I truly love him and would leave my husband in a snap for him but we can never be together. Today he had the balls to say that he needed sex it was almost like a slap in my face seeings how we are unable to have sex now. I was his first and only girl he has slept with. I wish things could just go back to the way they were.....Kaylee
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
In reply to: kaylee0967
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 10:44pm
Aww...that is sad.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2010
In reply to: kaylee0967
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 11:29pm
Yes I love my husband and I like him I just don't feel he is giving me the attention that I need. I also love my brother in law too. I have a daughter and as for work I broke my foot and am not able to work right now. I am a full time student just not taking classes this summer. I can't handle the thought of my brother in law and I not cuddling anymore. I am gonna have to go into therpy because I am very very depressed...Kaylee
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
In reply to: kaylee0967
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 11:36am

Hi Kaylee,


Girl you went there with the brother-In-law, not good. I think its a good idea that he stopped things before your H found out. If he ever did then your AP would be out on the streets and possibly you. Having an A is one thing but when its with family or a good friend things get really chaotic. I wouldnt wish that on you. You seem to not love your H anymore, have you considered leaving him? And leaving to be with your brother-in-law isn't any better the entire family will resent you.


Please be careful and hopefully he will find an apartment and you and your H will have some space to work things out or for you to do some soul searching.


Best of luck to you!

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2010
In reply to: kaylee0967
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 5:43pm
Hi I do love my husband I am just not in love with him anymore. Ever since I spent my time with his brother I can't stop thinking about him. He is the one I want to be with. I really screwed my life up. Today I told my husband that we needed to go into counseling or I was going to file for divorce. I talked to my brother in law about it and he said he thinks we have a great relationship he doesn't realize that I don't want to be with my husband but I want to be with him. The way he makes me feel is amazing!!!! But it is over now so I am really sad. Kaylee
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2010
In reply to: kaylee0967
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 6:26pm

u r his first and only girl? how old is this guy? 17? too wierd. you need to find a therapist ASAP AND get this boy out of your house. or you need to apologize to him, tell him how messed up you are, and let him know that it will not happen again. if u r older, u MUST be the rational adult.

when one does not love too much, one does not love enough --blaise pascal
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2010
In reply to: kaylee0967
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 9:06pm

ok may I ask you why do you think you can't be with your H's brother if you truly love him & want to be with him ? if your H's brother also feels the same way about you , you have every right to be together as long as you are willing to end it with H first .

You said you would leave your H in a snap for his brother , so you need to gather some courage & leave your H . Otherwise you will keep thinking about your H's brother & will remain miserable with your H .