HELP!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2009
HELP!!!!
4
Wed, 06-24-2009 - 11:19am

I have been friends with my affair for 20 years. He has always been the one that got away, my only regret. He married first and went on with life as did I. Even after getting married we both

Avatar for momtb4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: amicrazy_2007
Wed, 06-24-2009 - 1:41pm
ami, just ask him, straight out. Is this as hard for you as it is for me? Take whatever his answer is to be truth. He's defensive when you call yourself a filler because it's insulting. Or that's my take on it. And you are probably second guessing yourself because you are having an affair. I never second guessed myself with my marriage like I am now and it's because I had an a. Now I'm not sure anything is as it seems, the only change was me.... Probably not helpful, but it's what I've got.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2009
In reply to: amicrazy_2007
Wed, 06-24-2009 - 2:20pm

Thanks for the reply. I have asked it that and he just says, "Who said it is easy?". Doesn't offer anymore, but questions me

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2009
In reply to: amicrazy_2007
Wed, 06-24-2009 - 5:36pm

He is evading the question...from what you describe, it sounds to me that you think more of the relationship then he does. It looks to me that you are just a FWB and he doesnt truely have the feelings for you that you have for him....


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2009
In reply to: amicrazy_2007
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 10:49am

Thanks for the replies! In my head I agree with all that is being said, I think I just need to hear it from someone else. It has been 36 hours since we last had contact and I am staying firm that I am not going to be the one to text first. Today is moving day, the day where everything changes. I am sure he knows that, but if he doesn't put it all together then maybe I am right in that this was "More" meaningful for me than it was for him. Thinking back, I was ok with that thinking it would just a been a 1 time thing. So why have I let my emotions get all crazy??? Why is it so easy for men? Next hurdle is that he & wife are stopping to spend the night with us they travel home. I am curious to see how he will act with her around. Once they leave contact will be reduced to email and text. As I am sure he is going to be very busy getting back to normal life, I need to refocus my attention to my life. I am thinking he is going to try and catch me alone and question why I have been so quiet over the last few days. I am going to reply that I love him, cherish our memories, but need to let