Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Help!
5
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 7:44am
I am a lurker here for sometime now and just now found courage to post here. My story is somewhat unusual than the ones I have been reading here. I don't know what to do - I am at my wits end. So please help and bear with me.

I met my other man online and we have been talking for a year now. We haven't met in person yet. I don't know still his address or his place of work. I don't have any phone numbers to contact him and he hasn't asked for mine either. We just talk online and mostly as friends than anything else. I don't know why I carry on with him inspite of all red flags. He is not married but I am - so I don't want to be in trouble anymore than I have to.

He says he has grown fond of me and hs fallen in love with me. I have become attached to him and I guess I am falling in love with him too. But here is the kicker, he never shares much about himself and it scares me sometimes as to what his intentions. I genuine care for him but I am frustruated by his lack of ehthusiam for me. Sometimes he plainly ignore me and I hate that. Here I am risking a whole lot to talk as much as I can and he doesn't seem give me credit. I don't know what to do with this 'affair'. Any advice is welcome. TIA

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: foolforluv
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 8:10am
I think I would be very cautious about this guy. You can never be sure about anybody you meet online. He could BE married and just not telling you. He could not be telling you anything personal because he is being cautious also. I know of both good meetings of people you meet on the internet and tragic relationships. My H works with a guy who met his wife on the net, they are the nicest couple! But, my son's ex girlfriend met her husband on the internet (this guy happened to live close by her) and he ended up murdering her, so you need to use extreme caution with anyone you meet on the net.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
In reply to: foolforluv
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 8:39am
Be extremely cautious of meeting someone on the internet. As you have read, it could turn out wonderful or quite horrible. If you've corresponded with him for over a year and he's not giving you any personal information, slow down! Not even a phone number? I would keep this relationship from going any further. If he is "in love" with you, he should be willing to at least open up a bit for you, especially if he is single. I wish you a lot of luck and hope everything works out for the positive for you! (((Hugs)))
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
In reply to: foolforluv
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 10:20am
Hey there, I will have to agree with the others and say please be careful. Internet relationships can be equally wonderful and tragic. It's so easy to decieve people from behind a screen and if he sounds like he's not being entirely forthcoming with certain things or isn't consistantly available to you when you get online you might have to ask yourself why. If it's been a year and you two have still not met, I would think really hard about how this could potentially end badly. Then again most of us here are in situations without bright futures, but please be careful anyway sweetie, I am always concerned with safety when it comes to the internet.

Mack

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
In reply to: foolforluv
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 11:23am



affair?? what affair?? this is not an affair. You've been chatting to a cyberpal - that's all you've been doing. Unless you're into chatting to strangers on the net, I'd either: drop it and try to sort out what you have with your h; or drop it and leave h so that you could find yourself a proper b/f who lives next to you and wants you. How about that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
In reply to: foolforluv
Tue, 02-17-2004 - 11:36am
Thanks for all your post. I too feel the same way. No, I do not have the habbit of chatting with stranger on the net. But how many cyberpals tell you that they love you?? Oh wait, he did not say even it to me ouright, now that the coffed has kicked in - it was by implication - if you know what I mean. He may have have meant truly, I don't doubt it. But I need it in his actions and until then I REALLY don't like be a fool for love.