HELP! With a colleague?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2008
HELP! With a colleague?
2
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 3:27pm

Hi Guys,

I posted last year about a potential A with my married advisor. While I was able to stay away at the time, I've got a new situation and I absolutely need to vent.

In brief, I'm 25 yr old graduate student with a WONDERFUL boyfriend. Starting in March, a colleague of mine started hitting on me. I ignored it for a while and it seemed to go away since we hung out more as friends than anything else. Last night, I had a few too many beers and one thing led to another and clothes came off. I stopped it from going to full sex (don't know how I did), but we went far enough.

Today, I'm a wreck. While I like the guy personally, it seems as though he has deeper feelings for me than I thought. Did I mention he's married? Whats wrong with me? I'm an emotional and neurotic mess right now, so I'm not sure how coherent this post is. I can't get ANY work done. I've been sitting and staring at my computer all day wondering why I let it get this far.

He came to see me a bit earlier and I couldn't even look him in the eye. I kept the conversation work related, but I'm seriously such a mess right now that I don't even know what I sounded like.

I'm going through all sorts of guilt right now to the point where I'm shaking. Part of me is shaking because I LIKED what we did last night. Sex with the BF is great, very romantic and sweet but ultimately, pretty boring unless I take the initiative to spice it up a bit. Last night was EXPLOSIVE caveman wild and unlike anything with BF and a very strong part of me wishes we could have continued.

Argh, I'm not making any sense. I DON'T want to do anything with him again but I DO. I feel like calling him back for round 2, but I don't want to feel this craptastic anymore.

If you've made it this far through a very convoluted post, please help. There is really no one I can talk to. Thanks for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2009
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 4:45pm
I don't think you're ready for a serious committed R. Be glad you're not M yet. Sow your wild oats now and get them out of your system, or forever hold your peace. The only thing I would caution you against doing, is getting involved or going after MM's. No good can come out of it other than you getting hurt and helping in the destruction of some innocent people's lives.
Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Fri, 06-26-2009 - 10:05am
I too would suggest that get away from this MM as quickly as possible.you have a wonderful bf,stick with him if you want to and dont get involved again with a MM.I am myself SW with a MM but didnt have a bf when we started.you may not want to be in an A at 25!! you have all your life ahead.