I was hoping this might be a good place to get some advice or to at least tell my story since so many of you are in similar situations. Where do I start? About a year and a half ago, my now ex-husband decided he didn't want to be married anymore. Not long before he realized this, I had a m/c and we had up until his "revelation" been trying to conceive our second child. I also found out that he was at least emotionally involved with another woman (he denies it was an A until this day but I don't really believe that). Anyway, it was obviously a tough time for me and I began to confide in this man at work who I had been friendly with. He is the type of person who goes out of his way to help anyone and was a really great friend to me during the divorce and moving into a new home with my son, etc. Well, I probably realized I was developing feelings for him but would never even think of crossing that line because I believed he was happily married. Then, a couple of months ago, we went to a night time work function together and ended up going out afterwards, just the two of us. He ended up kissing me that night and telling me he had fallen in love with me. I was very confused but ended up starting an A with him. Since we work together, we are able to go to lunch everyday (everybody just thinks we are good friends - he is the LAST person anybody would suspect is having an A) and see each other quite often here and there outside of work since his wife kind of knows me. I alternate between feeling blissfully happy about our relationship to feeling like the biggest heal that ever lived! He has talked about leaving his wife but is worried about his girls (11 + 14 years old).
Now I am pretty sure I am pregnant and I am so scared! (5 days late but I am always regular!) I am a single mom as it is to a 3 and a half year old. I have no family that lives near by to help me. I doubt any of my friends would support or understand this situation I have gotten myself into. And, I am so afraid to tell MM. I am afraid he will think I did this on purpose because I used to always talk about how much I wanted another child. And, under different circumstances, I know he would want another child too. I don't see abortion as an option. Yet, I don't know how I am going to swing it on my own. And, to top it off, MM started telling me this week how he has been having these draining and lengthy discussions with his W about whether to leave or not. I doubt this is going to help him make a clear decision. I don't want him to leave just because of this. I have been in major denial mode but I know the time is going to come for me to do something!
Thanks for taking the time to read. Any input would be appreciated.
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Congratulations Swiss!
It not a bad idea in my opinion to take a few days and absorb your reality and come to terms with the situation at hand. You need to be strong and ready to handle his reaction to the news. I hope he takes it well but if he doesn't, don't worry he will come around. You take care of yourself and get plenty of rest and drink you milk and OJ. Keep us posted.
Omawxgirl
I'm an old timer and I was just checking in, and caught your post.
I would like to say congratulations on your pregnancy - I can tell that even though you may be confused at the moment about how to handle a baby emotionally and financially, that you would truly enjoy having another child. It's just not under the best circumstances that this usually happy news is coming to you.
I agree with the others that you need to discuss the situation with the OM - only you know how to deal with breaking this news to him, but I think you just need to be completely honest with him - tell him that you are happy to be having another child; that you never intended to become pregnant, but now that you are, you're happy about it; that you would hope that he would be involved with the pregnancy and child rearing if he chooses, but that you intend to have the baby either way since abortion is not an option. You may be very suprrised by his reactions - either way, prepare yourself that it could be a positive or negative. If he does react negatively - give him some time to come to grips with the situation - no pressure. In my heart, I believe he'll be fine with this news.
Defintely keep us all posted.
(((HUGS)))
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