Help!! I don't know if it's me or what..

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Help!! I don't know if it's me or what..
6
Tue, 01-20-2004 - 2:42pm

I don't know if I'm just tired or if it's because

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
hey heart -- are you tired about some other part of your life or tired of the drama involved in a LDA? was the disagreement minor or major?? when you haven't seen someone you really care about for 4-5 months, all sorts of things start running through your head. and that can lead to misunderstandings and "disagreements." how about a little communication? can you call your MM and ask him what's going on. apologize if the fault is yours and ask him what's going on regarding your R.

you obviously have the NC issue worked out in your head, but why do you say you "love him now more than ever" when you are confused and scared about the R? has MM given you some indication that he doesn't want to continue?

sorry to not give you help and/or advice, but i just need more info.

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
Hi there. I don't know if I can help but can tell you that I'm in a similar situation. Maybe it's like the 4 year rutt, though for me it started to get all messed up at about 3 years into the EMA, then better for a while, and now the pitts again. I know that I am completely tired of the drama of this whole thing. I ended our EMA 2 weeks ago and have had NC ever since. He tried to get me that day, called like 20 times but I didn't answer. I just couldn't deal with it all. I love him dearly and he does me, but I have felt so taken for granted as of late. Is that what happens, the relationships become complacent almost, like a marriage in a way? I, too, am very disappointed in MM right now and I don't know what to do. So, I let the days go by and we'll see if he contacts me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004

Maybe, it is a rutt?! I mean my love for him and his love for me is not in question.


I guess it could be I'm tired of the drama too. We have had our ups & downs throughout

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004

MM has given no indication of ending anything. As a matter of fact, I know he's happy with our R.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
It's probably nothing to fret over. We....as women....are far more intuned to our feelings and sometime tend to blow things out of proportion. Since there wasn't any big "arguement" you were probably over sensitive and things just "hit you wrong". That happens to me and when it does I'll get to feeling blue. Then I'll finally bring it up to MM and he was clueless or I had taken something and gotten it all turn around. Talking about it ALWAYS helps......that's one thing my MM has taught me. Give your guy a chance to speak up before you write him off completely. I would have for a misunderstanding to be the cause of a breakup when it can easily be fixed. Even if he doesn't call today, he'll be in touch soon......so pour your heart out to him. Tell him your concerns, fears, etc. If he's a man worth keeping he'll be glad you did. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
Sorry I didn't respond sooner. I'm at work and have been busy. I only check this board when I'm at work, not at home. I'd love to chat more about your situation. It does sound similar to mine. Our "problem" has been over the same thing in a sense, though, we're not LDA. He is fairly local to me and getting together seems like more of a chore than fun these days and still after all this time, the guilt factor keeps him on a roller coaster of emotions which affects me tremendously. I'm at the point, again 4 years into this, that I have learned to deal with the confusion and guilt and have made a decision that this is how I choose to carry out my life. It's frustrating that I don't know if I can count on him from one day to the next. He SAYS he's in this with me, but actions and words don't match at all and I'm frustrated beyond belief. If you'd prefer, we can email. My email is twiceisnice4me@yahoo.com