Help me get thru this
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Help me get thru this
| Wed, 10-29-2003 - 7:40pm |
First, for those not familiar with my story, I will give you a brief scenerio...
I have been involved with my MM for 12 yrs. We also work together. We spend time together outside of work quite often every week and have a fantastic relationship (under the circumstances) and plan to be together when the kids are grown (about another 3-1/2 yrs of waiting to go).
Over the past week or two a number of things have happened at work, harrassment accusations by someone about someone plus it was found out 2 other people have been having an affair for 2 yrs so Human Resources Dept. is in overdrive. So, my MM said we have to cool it or if we are found out both of us would lose our jobs and that we need to be extremely careful and can only see each other maybe once a month, no calls, no emails, nothing! God, I know he is right but I am sooo depressed! He has been the major part of my life for so long, over a decade. Now I see him at work and can barely talk to him and I just feel the pain inside. Although, he says it's only temporary and that he loves me and hates this too, I still feel like I've lost an important part of my life. And I thought all I was going to have to deal with was all the hunting trips he takes this time of year and the wonderfully depressing holidays approaching!
Plus, to make matters worse, my H is at his worst right now...verbal abuse to know end every day to mention a small part of the hell.
I don't know how to get thru this. I feel I am about as down as a person can get right now.
I have been involved with my MM for 12 yrs. We also work together. We spend time together outside of work quite often every week and have a fantastic relationship (under the circumstances) and plan to be together when the kids are grown (about another 3-1/2 yrs of waiting to go).
Over the past week or two a number of things have happened at work, harrassment accusations by someone about someone plus it was found out 2 other people have been having an affair for 2 yrs so Human Resources Dept. is in overdrive. So, my MM said we have to cool it or if we are found out both of us would lose our jobs and that we need to be extremely careful and can only see each other maybe once a month, no calls, no emails, nothing! God, I know he is right but I am sooo depressed! He has been the major part of my life for so long, over a decade. Now I see him at work and can barely talk to him and I just feel the pain inside. Although, he says it's only temporary and that he loves me and hates this too, I still feel like I've lost an important part of my life. And I thought all I was going to have to deal with was all the hunting trips he takes this time of year and the wonderfully depressing holidays approaching!
Plus, to make matters worse, my H is at his worst right now...verbal abuse to know end every day to mention a small part of the hell.
I don't know how to get thru this. I feel I am about as down as a person can get right now.

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Wow, given all that, I guess we are pretty damn lucky we weren't the ones caught at work. Guess over the 12 yrs we've been seeing each other, we have gotten pretty lax in where we go together and what we do so maybe this is a wake up call to start being more careful.
Thanks to everyone for all the advice, it definitely has helped me get thru this not-to-terric time. Guess that's why A's are called roller coaster rides!
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