Help Needed

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2010
Help Needed
2
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 1:35pm

Hi, just asking for your thoughts by reading and posting a reply here or on my blog.


http://starsaroundmysoul.wordpress.com/2010/07/26/help-needed-fast/


I have been reading here for months, and on the eas board. Long story short I need to make a decision to see my ap this weekend or not. So many details involved that I decided to add the link for that here.


I appreciate your help. thanks. stars2010


I am adding that I just noticed a post about a both sides board I will go and post there too.




Edited 7/26/2010 1:39 pm ET by stars2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
In reply to: stars2010
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 2:06pm

Stars,


I could not read your blog entry and not respond

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2010
In reply to: stars2010
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 1:41pm
Thanks for responding because I am sure it is overwhelming to read and figure it out even for an opinion. I felt certain someone from MAS or EAS would respond because of feeling similar. I didn't post on EAS, but it wasn't because I didn't want their opinions. I didn't want to hurt anyones healing process or not be supportive of it. I feel the same way here, but I am kind of in the middle of it and lack the inability to let go. I do read a lot on both which provides me with motivation to come to a solution for me.
I am gaining clarity (well sometimes I think I am) but even writing about it takes up so much time (even typing fast) I want to be doing other things now, so I know I am healing.
Although maybe that is just being lazy? I think of the Bridges of Madison County movie to compare, and think ok wow. no I do not want to live my life like that romanticizing the what if. but totally understand the respecting of the other spouse.
so with the no contact will it go away to a sweet memory?
I did decline to see him this weekend. There is only a week away where we will see each other, but different circumstances.
Either way I feel he has taken it then as a decision that we have chosen to be together, when inviting me there to see him was that he missed me and was wanting to prove to me how much he loved me. I am still on the fence about leaving period, let alone for another. I don't think he realizes he actually hampers my leaving by his constant seeking, maybe I am hiding in my marriage?