Help Please

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2005
Help Please
9
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 2:28pm
I guess I am looking for advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
In reply to: goddess_cstar
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 3:47pm

I hope you're not in the "school-of-thought" that thinks "the grass is greener on the other side". Because most likely it's not when you get there. Do a little retrospection. There were reasons why it didn't work out between you and the old BF. Don't get caught up in the baloney of only remembering the good and not the bad about that R.

Exhaust all possibility why your M now is already in big trouble after only 2-years. An A is just bandaid to deep seated problems within ourselves and/or in our M. It'll compound the problems more and by the time it's done wrecking all it's havoc, it's usually too late and we can never go back to the life we had before.

Also, jumping from one man to another is NOT a good idea. If the void is within you (this need to seek your happiness in other people) you're bound to keep repeating your actions no matter who you end up with until you do the work and fill that void within yourself.

Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com


"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."


- Ramona L. Anderson
Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
In reply to: goddess_cstar
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 5:02pm

I would agree with what Goddess G2 had to say, and she said it very well, so I am not sure if there is much more that I can add.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2008
In reply to: goddess_cstar
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 5:31pm

This is the 3rd post I've read from

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
In reply to: goddess_cstar
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 7:29pm

cstar...My advice is to really take some time to figure out what is best for you and what you want.

maystone
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2009
In reply to: goddess_cstar
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 7:37pm

Welcome Goddess.


Boy...there are an awful lot of Goddesses on this board ;).


It's good that you are thinking things through before giving in to the appeal of an affair.


What do you want to do? What feels right in your heart?

Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.       ~Anonymous
 &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2005
In reply to: goddess_cstar
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 7:40pm

Thank you for the response.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
In reply to: goddess_cstar
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 7:48pm

cstar... that is great that you are going through counseling!

maystone
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2009
In reply to: goddess_cstar
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 8:09pm

GodessG2, is right on as always.

I commend you for taking the time to think about it before jumping in.

IMHO....Find and REALLY listen to your inner voice. I had 2nd thoughts too before my marriage and I was right, I should have listened to it. An affair is rarely a solution to an "ailing" marriage, it just complicates and clouds your thinking and judgment.

If it is possible maybe a separation would be best for you, while going to counseling as well. It may seem selfish, but you have to do what is best for you in the long run, it is only ourselves we really have to live with at the end of the day. Just my 2 cents.

Hugs

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
In reply to: goddess_cstar
Fri, 05-01-2009 - 10:30pm

Good for you for recognizing the problem in the 1st place- before