Help...please read and respond honestly
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Help...please read and respond honestly
| Tue, 05-11-2004 - 4:31pm |
deleted...just can't walk away from this computer and leave snipets of my personal emails up here for the world to read!
Edited 5/11/2004 7:04 pm ET ET by cmp72004
Edited 5/11/2004 7:04 pm ET ET by cmp72004

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FMH6
I'm glad he sounds sincere to you; I hope he is ... he's been a good friend, and he has always been a supportive and reliable friend. I suppose I have grown to care about him more than I am willing to admit to myself (or him), which is where I am now getting myself into trouble. That wasn't supposed to happen, and I don't like it. This can never go anywhere...I guess he is mindful of that more than I am. I'm rambling. Oh well, if I continue questioning everything this way I guess that's another reason to consider ending it. Thank you again!
Edited 5/11/2004 5:13 pm ET ET by cmp72004
Edited 5/11/2004 5:17 pm ET ET by cmp72004
Hope you (and others) feel better soon as well.
OMG. Do we have the same MM? :) Or are they all made from the same mold? Close to everything he wrote, I have heard the same thing, only my MM would say it to my face. He is email shy unless it's a dirty joke or cartoon he is sending. What state do you live in? Tee - hee. Mine is smart enought to pull off a scam like this; now who sounds insecure?
**Terri**
I agree with the others, without knowing each of you it's difficult to tell. But to me, he sounds sincere; trying to support you in whatever you decide to do. Maybe pull back a bit and just meet for lunch or coffee - it's going to be tough no doubt after great sex. While my A has not been sexual yet, I also fear once we have sex, it will only be about sex, and I will miss our wonderful lunches and long talks.
Hang in there "This too shall pass." At least that's what I'm telling myself! :)
I think it's hard to say for sure without knowing more. He doesn't sound too much like sex is *all* he's interested in, it just might be that he's very attracted to you (which does sound like is the case.) I'm sure there are times my OW has felt a little like this because the truth is that I'm unbelievably smitten with her and can't seem to stop touching her. But if she said no more sexual contact I'd live with it because I also really like her as a person.
I can see where the end might sound a little odd, but maybe he really cares about you and wants you to be happy. If he's giving you the freedom to say you're through, maybe he just wants to be honest (which he seems to be doing) without pressuring you one way or the other. If you both know it doesn't have any real future, maybe he just wants to be sure you feel like you can stay or leave on your own terms and he will accept it because he cares about you as a person.
rain
**Terri**
I've been guilty with my OW of sometimes mistaking my read on her. If we were a week or two without any real time together other than "hi/bye" there were times when her warm greeting made me think sexy thoughts. When I followed through, something didn't sit quite right between us afterwards.
After a couple of those "not quite right" episodes, I just asked her what was going on; we have always had such an intense sensual connection, to not have it in tune was a little strange. She just told me that we were short on time and jumped a little quick to bed once in a while when we hadn't really seen each other.
Since then I've learned to read her moods much better, and when things have been stressful and we've had some distance, I find that instead of moving to catch up on our sex it's really, really nice to just lay with her and touch, hold, kiss, talk... just be intimate. Then she knows I just want to be with her and close to her. And to be honest, usually when I read that situation right she ends up feeling very good, very secure, and is really happy with me. And then I usually get mauled. LOL.
If he doesn't ask where you're at, try telling him outright. If I've said it once here, I've said it a hundred times: men are dense. Simple and direct, even if it scares us sometimes, is the right way to deal with us. Anything else confuses us, even if we ourselves are devious to the extreme.
rain
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