Here goes nothing

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2007
Here goes nothing
8
Mon, 01-18-2010 - 9:25am

A few weeks ago I posted about me and my best friend of 20 years spending the night together. He told me he loved me and wanted to be with me, that I was laways the one. He of course is M, I am not I just got out of a long term R. Anyway since that week at Xmas, we have talked like always and there are hints of what is going on in our conversations. Well, this weekend I went to meet him in a town about 3 hours from me and where he lives. he lives about 4 hours from me. Anyway, we have a friend that lives where we were going that knows what is happening. Needles to say we had a great time, and I hated going back yesterday. When things first happened between us I was weirded out. But now it seems so natural, it was not akward the next day.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2009
Mon, 01-18-2010 - 10:54pm
I'd say "welcome aboard" but I don't think this is a ship that any of us are crazy about being on. Like you, I kind of know AP's GF and I do feel some remorse that our A would hurt her if she ever found out, but I can't say no to the sheer joy I get from being with AP despite that. It is selfish, but it is what it is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2007
Tue, 01-19-2010 - 10:45am
I agree good girl, I used to be the CL on this board several years ago,

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2009
Tue, 01-19-2010 - 4:29pm

Welcome Back Cubbies,


I'm of course under a different screen name since my D-Day 2 years ago, but I remember you being the CL and I always loved getting your input. My old screen name was blueeyes03. I'm

cntrygirl03
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2007
Wed, 01-20-2010 - 9:09am
I remember you, how are you old friend? I am glad to see that you are doing well, and I love the new screen name. As of yet he has not taked to his W and she does not know about us at all. He said he needs 6 months to get things straight. I have made it clear that I will not be the side dish for long, so if this is what he really wants he will have to do it. So for now we are sneaking around, I am not sure how he is going to handle things but if he wants to talk to me about it he will, if not I will let that be his business. I do not want to influence him. Yes it was a shocker for me to hear him say those things. But then after thinking about it, it really was not. I guess we just ignored it for years b/c I was M or he was. He said what made him confess was the long term R I was in , we had been talking M before we broke up. He said he knew if I got M again he would never have a chance. So wish me luck my friend, I am going to need it. The last thing I need in my life is

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
Wed, 01-20-2010 - 12:24pm

Hi Cubbie,


I'm sure you know this, but you are not responsible for his decisions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2009
Wed, 01-20-2010 - 3:49pm

Well Cubbies I'm wishing you lots of luck and I hope it turns out for the best. I can understand him saying he needs a little time to get things lined up. It's not an easy decision nor is it a quick fix to end a marriage. But like you said, which I agree more than ever you aren't going to be his side dish while he has you both. Emotionally you don't need that and you don't need to stress about a d day. I would just take things slow these next 6 months and let him get his ducks in a row. I know it's tough on you though to sit back and wait. Just be super careful, which you already know.


I'll be thinking about you.

cntrygirl03
cntrygirl03
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2009
Tue, 02-02-2010 - 2:44pm

OMG Cubbies!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2007
Tue, 02-02-2010 - 5:00pm

B True!!!!! Hey girl. Yeah I know the drill all to well. :) I have been re-thinking my decision to do this. It is a LD thing about a 4 hour difference so getting together is hard, through out our friendship we still hung out at least once a month as friends. We mainly talk on the phone. Last week we were talking and he was telling me that he wished he could be here on V day but if he is really going to do what he has to he can't be gone from the W on V day. He is trying to get things together to split so it hurts him the least finacially as he is the main bread winner. After a lot of thinking and discussion with my friends I dont think I can have this A. If he wants to leave his M, and try with me then he needs to do it. I guess this should be posted in the on the fence section. But regardless I have been through way too much to put my life on hold any longer for 1 month or 6 for this. I love him I really do but I can't do this. It just is not the right thing to do. If we are meant to be then we can wait until he does the right thing and ends his marriage.


All that being said we all know that when he arranges for us to get together again I will go and it will all be out the window. LMFAO Seriosuly I am going to try and not fall back into it. I cannot take back what has already happened but I can not do it again.