here's a update

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
here's a update
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 3:08pm
Hey everybody, well just wanted to let yall know how i have been holding up lately. It's been over a mth and still havent heard from MM, no contact what so ever. I guess he got upset because i left a message on his answer machine telling him to call me because we needed to talk. That's the only thing i can figure out for the NC. He doesnt know about the joke his so called friend played on me yet so this is the only explanation i have. I am doing fairly ok, i try to keep myself busy with my son and taking care of the house so i really dont have time to think about MM except at nite when i am by myself surfing on the internet and then every memory starts to come to me. I hate this, i didnt wont my A to end, we have broken up several times and got back together but i think this time is different, I dont know how i am going to cope knowing MM is out of my life, i guess i just have to take it one step at a time, i just wish he wouldve never said he loved me that is what hurts the most, after going thru the ups and downs, when i found out how MM really felt i thought we got thru the rough times and now everything was falling into place but i was WRONG, i feel like a idiot for allowing myself to let him get to me like he has. I have heard just rumors that he is some what cheating on me and if that is the case than i really dont need him because if we ever got together in the future, he would probably cheat on me like he is doing his W. I really dont know who i am anymore, i never thought i would have a A but i did and now he is probably fooling around with as many girls he can while i am sitting here crying and upset. Sorry guys i just needed to vent, if anyone would like to comment i would appreciate it alot. Thanks