he's coming home tomorrow....
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| Fri, 06-25-2010 - 11:26am |
Well ladies, I have toughed it out. He has been gone most of the summer so far and tomorrow he comes home from his trip with the W and I'm a nervous wreck!!! We have had no contact for 10 days now and silly me I have been hoping for some. When he went to the beach with the family he texted me on the last day. Then he was home for 2 days. We had lunch and fooled around a little. We made tentative plans to get together next week when he gets back. When he left I felt pretty good about things. After lunch we texted a little, he called at the end of the day and then the next day he called before heading to the airport. Believe me, I am so thankful. Said he was going to miss me. He has really tried. But now I am so nervous. He said that he would try and email me while he was gone (from Europe) but warned me ..."no expectations" as he didn't know what was going to happen with connection, phone plans etc...but I still hoped. Really hoping that I would wake up to a note this morning but nothing... the kicker is she has updated her facebook status twice while gone. :( so there is access somewhere!! And I can't even say anything because I don't want him to know I check her page...which is wide open by the way!!!
I know I shouldn't freak yet, I have stayed busy, spent nearly all my time with kids and friends, gone to concerts, etc... but a wave of panic will wash over me and I have to say the serenity mantra!!! I methodically emind myself how attentive he was before leaving. Things he said, things he did etc... but still I worry about a watershed moment he may have at sunset on some beautiful beach, the wind blowing though her hair....and think "what the hell am I doing? I have a wonderful gal here...my WIFE!!!" then I get the "it's not you it's you" talk at a lunch next week and not the day we planned...(that he was very excited for I may add... ;)
But here comes Monday. Do I contact him? Will he contact me? Waiting is excruciating!! When he came back from the beach, I couldn't wait. I texted him, just saying I miss you. He wrote back I missed you too call you in 10. But it was an awful day of waiting before I broke down and did that. What do I do if I don't hear from him right away? Ugh. Worse...what if he doesn't want to see me anymore...so depressing because I would feel so stupid. Waiting for him, believing him (sorta) when he said that this doesn't change things.
Ok...neurotic I know...what would you do or think about this?
ps...her facebook updates are ALL about her. She doesn't mention him once!! Doesn't even say "we". Almost like she has gone alone. Sigh.

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