He's confusing me!
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He's confusing me!
| Sat, 08-30-2008 - 6:49pm |
So you all know that last Wednesday, AP or maybe xAP ended things 'for now'.
Whatever the heck that means.
Thursday was hell, to put it plainly.

Oh greeneyes, I'm so sorry that you have to go through all this confusion. He's not helping much, is he? I can't imagine having to work with an XAP, it must be so darned hard. I've been thinking about what is going to happen when my A has run it's course. Of course the ideal situation would be that it would have (1) ended on my terms, and (2) it ended because
Green,
I don't know your AP. So I am only guessing when I say that it seems to me like he does not want to be the bad guy. He would be the bad guy if he left his M, so he isn't. He would be the bad guy if he didn't leave the door cracked open with you, so he is. Where does he get to have the power "for now"? Sounds like he gets to decide when and if you get back together. I wouldn't be comfortable with that arrangement.
You ask, when do I get what I want, when do I get to be happy? A wise musician once said, " you can't always get what you want." But I believe that you get to be happy when you decide you want to be happy badly enough. When you put yourself in front of all the expectations, demands, and guilt trips. I left an H who told me he wouldn't survive the failure of the M. Well guess what? His fancy-gadget-buying ass is still alive and well.
Your H would survive if you left. Could you move in with someone? It seems like there is always a way. If you feel you must stay with H, what could you do to make the situation more bearable?
Good luck--but the work situation sounds bad. I would hate to see my XAP every day--it really would slow the healing process.
Greeneyes I am sorry for the hurt that you feel.
Hi Green.
First off big HUGS for what you are going through right now.