He's dating-what to feel/do
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He's dating-what to feel/do
| Sat, 07-31-2010 - 3:53pm |
Hi All!
A lil over a year ago, my first love and I decided to get back together again after 30 years. It's been a sweet relationship and he has moved closer to be near me (1000 closer) until I get my divorce. I still live w/ my stbx and absolutely nothing is going on between us--we have both agreed to the divorce after 25+ yrs and our children are grown. I'm about 4 weeks away-- at most from my divorce being finalized however-he's dating and says that he doesn't want to sit around waiting on me. He actually went out w/ someone last night & I knew it before he told me--because believe it or not--I can actually feel when he does this. (no --it's not the first time either).
I'm pretty hurt --don't get me wrong--I do understand how he feels. He says there's nothing else going on--he just likes going out and that doesn't equate to" fooling around" but I'm very uneasy about it and mostly hurt.
I would love to have a lil clarity--wondering if I am wrong to feel this way. I feel as though I am preparing for a life to be w/ him---and I am not sure what he's really thinking here!
Thanks so much for your time here!
pink~
A lil over a year ago, my first love and I decided to get back together again after 30 years. It's been a sweet relationship and he has moved closer to be near me (1000 closer) until I get my divorce. I still live w/ my stbx and absolutely nothing is going on between us--we have both agreed to the divorce after 25+ yrs and our children are grown. I'm about 4 weeks away-- at most from my divorce being finalized however-he's dating and says that he doesn't want to sit around waiting on me. He actually went out w/ someone last night & I knew it before he told me--because believe it or not--I can actually feel when he does this. (no --it's not the first time either).
I'm pretty hurt --don't get me wrong--I do understand how he feels. He says there's nothing else going on--he just likes going out and that doesn't equate to" fooling around" but I'm very uneasy about it and mostly hurt.
I would love to have a lil clarity--wondering if I am wrong to feel this way. I feel as though I am preparing for a life to be w/ him---and I am not sure what he's really thinking here!
Thanks so much for your time here!
pink~

Hi Pink - Welcome to MAS! From the way I understand you and a past love have reconnected and have both completely changed your lives to be with each other...each of you going thru a D. He has moved across the country to be with you, meaning he has left his W already and his D is final?
So,
I really appreciate it!
He's been divorced now for about 5 yrs, We are not really keeping things too much of a secret at all--even my stbx knows that I'm w/ him. We often go out together--it's just that I want this situation I am in to be totally over with because he keeps bringing it up to me. I know he's very uncomfortable w/ me still being married--so am I but I am moving towards being free of it. I don't understand what he's doing--the going out w/ others and all--I certainly wouldn't do it to him and I have had opportunities to do so but I love him too much for that! I haven't wanted to be w/ another man to this degree since I was first in love with him 32 yrs ago.
And yes--we have been making plans all along to be together. He says he wants to marry me. We're planning a future together--at least we were--now I am starting to wonder.
I feel really lost in all of this. Not too mention the hurt. My head has ached all day long! I am not even talking to him right now!
the love of your life is going out on dates with other women? yikes... i would not like that at all. perhaps it is time u have that monogomous/exclusive discussion. if 1) he moved closer to be with you, and 2) you two are planning on being together exclusively after your divorce then u have the right to have that discussion with him NOW.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
I am going to have that long face to face talk with him today. I didn't think that I was so far off key w/ my thinking--and I do believe what you all are saying because I've had the same thoughts myself! If he's getting or has cold feet --I really need to know. It's hurting me anyway like this--so if I have to endure a lil more pain then I'd rather do it now! I don't mind the honest answers at all they really help!!
Thanks so much!
You all are great!!
pink~
Hi Pink,
He told you that he doesn't want to sit around waiting on
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
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