He's off the fence

Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
He's off the fence
7
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 1:53am
And, as i figured it would be, he has fallen on the side of the W.

Well it's okay. i really did see it coming. He and i have been through this before.

i am going to be sad for a bit and then i am going to pull it together, go out on dates, hang out with girlfriends and have fun. i'll MAKE myself if i have to!!!!!!!

As far as MM goes we aern't breaking up of course. The future will have challenges, but this man is my best friend and i his, and we just happen to have great sex too. i dunno, i try to look on the bright side. i have a wonderful man to fall back on who will talk to me, understand me and hug me (and other things hehe) yet i still get to go live the "single life" when i want to.

Maybe something will change in the future but for now, i am going to process this and move on, enjoying the support of my MM as i enter the next chapter of my life.

Somehow i am happy and sad, relieved and devastated, glad and mad, all at the same time. i am glad he has made his decision. But every fiber of my being thought we were meant to be together. (history, he said he was leaving, changed his mind, and then went back to fence sitting).

Please don't bother to tell me to leave him, i'm not interested in that. But any advice from you single woman out there would be great, or anyone that has a clue how this can work out in the future... the dating and still having MM around...

jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 5:21pm

"Please don't bother to tell me to leave him, i'm not interested in that. But any advice from you single woman out there would be great, or anyone that has a clue how this can work out in the future... the dating and still having MM around... "


Why would you not ask him to leave since you are all the way into this R? Are you scared that you might not find what you in the MM later and he will hold you responsible for breaking his house apart

Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 5:57pm
i don't want us to "break up" with because i just don't wanna!! (reason enough i think.)

That's the great thing about being grown up, you get to try anything you want to :)

i guess i don't really see your point, sorry.

MM are best friends and while i love him, as i said, i am someday soon going to date. i know there are other single women here with MM who date. i guess i see us turning into a "best friends wtih benefits" situation, i am not saying there won't be sticky times, but i think it can happen, and that it's at least worth a try.

Sorry if i am not communicating this well, it doesn't exactly seem like an impossible feat to me.

Thanks

jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 6:52pm
Hi Jen ,

I am single . As much as I want to be with my MM all the time I would never want him to leave his wife for me . If he ever thinks or chooses to leave his wife it should be because he wants to , because he isn't happy with her ......not because he is happy with me .


Before I met my MM ( it has only been 4 months ) I was dating single guys . Enjoying my time with singles guys . Had sex with some of them , but it wasn't much to brag about or of course by now one of them would be my BF ;-) . The I met MM .

Since then it is hard for me to date . I don't really feel I want to date . I do make my self go on dates because I know I need to find a single guy that I can feel the same way I feel with MM , If I stay home that won't happen .

Of course I have the right to go out and date . I am the single one here I can do what I want . But I will admit it is hard . I find myself thinking about my MM when on dates , wishing it was him here .......... I know I need to quite doing this or I will never find a single guy ,and I know I shouldn't wait around for MM , even though yes it does happen that MM leave their wives .

So for now I will still see MM , and hope that soon a single guy will come into my life and make me forget about MM .....until then I am going to enjoy my sex and friendship with MM but , try not to think so much about him .

xoxo ViperDiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Sun, 02-08-2004 - 10:14am

I get your point, Jenny. However will you support your emotionally/morally if he ever got out of his marriage?? Or would you say that he has do it all alone by himself since its his decision to come out?? I mean how much support will you give him in that situation???


PS: I think its good to date single men and keep your options open. Like I said before people who get hurt in an A are people are who put their own life on hold for the other person.... Good Luck




Edited 2/8/2004 10:18:07 AM ET by loveme2004
Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Sun, 02-08-2004 - 1:53pm
whoever wrote number four (sorry, i can't remember who it was now) is about how i feel. i see no point in "waiting" for MM til i am old and i also don't see throwing the baby out with the bathwater. i am sure it will be tough to date sometimes, but doesn't it always have it's moments no matter what the situation? i concede there is a possiblity maybe he will leave his wife in the future, but i do not think that is a big chance, i mean really, he had his chance, she "fixed" things, and it's all better, but we do want to stay together for now, so, wish me luck. Dating world, here i come (one of these days LOL)!!!

jen
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Sun, 02-08-2004 - 5:22pm
Good Luck, Jenny. You need to find somebody sane and sensible and single - the three S's LOL. Don't make a man make you go nuts.


Edited 2/8/2004 5:23:14 PM ET by loveme2004
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Mon, 02-09-2004 - 2:03am
"You need to find somebody sane and sensible and single"

Easier said then done ! ;-) but you are right .

I do find guys like that but there is no sexually chemistry .And that is what sucks . I don't want to marry a guy just to have an A on him because I am not happy with my sex life .

So I am dating until I will find what I want ....and in the mean time enjoy with my MM


Jen I wish you much luck ( BTW that was me who wrote #4) I am in the same boat as you are ......hey maybe we should open up a new club for single gals who are looking for single guys and want MM out of their life LOL LOL

xoxo ViperDiva