He's just not that into me...or is he??
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He's just not that into me...or is he??
| Wed, 07-21-2010 - 7:43pm |
Hello all,
just thought I would post here again...I lurk regularly and read everything. Again, I will say in advance how thankful I am for this message board and for everyone's encouragement and support.
That being said, let me explain the title of my post. My AP is a SM, and has told me several times that he is not attracted to me, not in love with me, etc., etc. Well, last night, I got to spend the night at his apt (HE suggested it) because my H and children are all on different vacations and I will be leaving tomorrow to join my H and 2 of my kids. Anyway, I was so thrilled to have the chance to share his bed - our chemistry in the bedroom is amazing. So IC with him last night was probably the best we have had yet. He couldn't stop telling me how much he enjoyed it afterwards...held me, snuggled me, etc. He said "we are getting too good at this". And then he also said he was addicted to me. Intense moments like these always make me wonder just HOW could he not be the least bit attracted to me?
At least he didn't bring up Nicole's name (girl he claims he is crazy about) during our togetherness last night. But this afternoon, he tells me that she FB messaged
him asking what he was doing tomorrow night because she needed help getting some part off her bike and also asked him if he could come over to her apt and take care of her cats while she is gone this weekend. Of course, he is all excited about this. So...(my inner jealousy is starting to creep up here, but I fight it with all I have) I told him that he NEEDS to ask her in person tomorrow night if she is interested in dating him. I care about him so much (am really starting to fall in love here) but I desperately want him to be happy. Tonight, I plan to spend the night with him again because i can and I want to. I am trying to get up the nerve to have a good talk with him about us and our A...I know some people continue the A even if their AP is involved with someone else - and funny enough, I wonder if he is jealous that I am still with H and not planning to leave him?
Or should I just let this thing with Ms. Nicole slide and just have another absolutely amazing night with him?
Advice is appreciated!! :)
just thought I would post here again...I lurk regularly and read everything. Again, I will say in advance how thankful I am for this message board and for everyone's encouragement and support.
That being said, let me explain the title of my post. My AP is a SM, and has told me several times that he is not attracted to me, not in love with me, etc., etc. Well, last night, I got to spend the night at his apt (HE suggested it) because my H and children are all on different vacations and I will be leaving tomorrow to join my H and 2 of my kids. Anyway, I was so thrilled to have the chance to share his bed - our chemistry in the bedroom is amazing. So IC with him last night was probably the best we have had yet. He couldn't stop telling me how much he enjoyed it afterwards...held me, snuggled me, etc. He said "we are getting too good at this". And then he also said he was addicted to me. Intense moments like these always make me wonder just HOW could he not be the least bit attracted to me?
At least he didn't bring up Nicole's name (girl he claims he is crazy about) during our togetherness last night. But this afternoon, he tells me that she FB messaged
him asking what he was doing tomorrow night because she needed help getting some part off her bike and also asked him if he could come over to her apt and take care of her cats while she is gone this weekend. Of course, he is all excited about this. So...(my inner jealousy is starting to creep up here, but I fight it with all I have) I told him that he NEEDS to ask her in person tomorrow night if she is interested in dating him. I care about him so much (am really starting to fall in love here) but I desperately want him to be happy. Tonight, I plan to spend the night with him again because i can and I want to. I am trying to get up the nerve to have a good talk with him about us and our A...I know some people continue the A even if their AP is involved with someone else - and funny enough, I wonder if he is jealous that I am still with H and not planning to leave him?
Or should I just let this thing with Ms. Nicole slide and just have another absolutely amazing night with him?
Advice is appreciated!! :)

Hmm...my first thought is that he is trying to play hard to get and not doing a very good job.
People DO NOT have great sex with someone they are not attracted to. Yes they can have great sex with someone they don't love, but there HAS to be attraction or the sex just kinda falls flat LOL. He's lying - maybe to himself - if he says he's not attracted to you.
I'd also like to know how that talk goes. I'm betting he won't have that talk with Ms. Nicole, because he's scared to know the truth.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
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anotherseyes
I've heard men say stuff before like "she is ok as long as you put a bag over her head". He may be saying he is not attracted to your looks, but you are convinient and attractive enough to have sex with. It's hard to tell what he would be thinking. Some men (not all) won't turn down sex even if they are not attracted. They just need to clean their pipes.
He might be saying you are not attractive relationshipwise (as you are married), but he is crazy about her cause she is free to have a relationship. Either way does not make it any easier on you that his is pursuing another woman.
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
Most men will have sex with any woman who says yes- attraction or no attraction, if he really wants to shake it off.
For majority of them,its no big deal as long as they are getting some and they are called man-hos.