He's just too busy for this anymore...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
He's just too busy for this anymore...
13
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 2:42am

Hi all


Well if you've been keeping up with my story, A with MM (Im married) for nearly 18mths. Great hot torrid start. Lots of 'I love you' and 'we should be together'. A few guilt trips later and we are still plodding along more as FWB with strong feelings.


But the last few months have been rough (hell ever since Feb it has been rough - guilt trip #2). His texts are less often, coffee and lunch less often, play dates less often. He still initiates things etc- its like our old Affair but on Xanax.


Now I feel frustrated, abandoned and annoyed most of the time. I keep hoping this will get better but I dont think it will. I have thought and semi tried some suggestions from you girls to get him to up the ante a bit. But he really is a stress head and workaholic.


As cleverly as he compartmentalises our A from his life, he is able to compartmentalise his life from our A. So what do I do now. I just text him saying that he doesnt know how much quick texts from him cheer me up. Not sure what (if) he'll respond.


He said August is his busiest month. So maybe I should just write this whole month off. But then what?? I dont want to end it as I know his ego will explode and we wont even be friends. So how do I manage this?


Iggy :(

You are what you consistently do
You are what you consistently do

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010

Thanks guys


Im more relaxed for sure, but thats how these things are huh. Just when you have had enough, they do something and keep you hooked :)


But I'll hold on to my epiphany. This will end and I will be ok when it does.

You are what you consistently do
You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2010
let him be busy for goodness sake, and if it is meant to be, it will be. summer is a challenging time with kids on vacation from school, and travel plans. at least he was providing prophecy for the future. your neediness may cause him to back away too. in the beginning of As each party tends to appear confident, and strong and the other party is attracted to that strength/exterior. as time goes on, and we hear less from the AP we as women may worry or wonder, but if our guy is totaly professional and uber busy with kids, community contacts/obligations and work resposibilities, how much time can we really expect on a regular basis. i have learned that the time availability ebbs and flows. u might be in a low period now re: attention to you, but maybe that is the universe's way of telling u to find some thing else to tend to in the meantime. que sera sera my dear. these situations do tend to have a shelf life, and unless you intend to ask him that burning question, then just be patient with his schedule for the time being. good luck, and take good care!!
when one does not love too much, one does not love enough --blaise pascal
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010

Thanks Marie- I appreciate what you are saying and I have already decided to let him 'be busy'. The problem is it happens too regularly. But all good- Im happy to lay low a bit. I need to make this A less important in my life.


Oh its winter over here at the moment :)


You are what you consistently do

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