He's moving!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2010
He's moving!
17
Sat, 06-19-2010 - 5:30pm

I don't know if any of you will remember me. I've posted a few times. I'm not in an A. Maybe an EA at best because I've sat the fence for 10 years. I found out recently that my EA is moving. He's moving a good distance away too. Several states...


I'm reeling from the news and can't stop thinking about the "what if's!" Part of me really wants to tell him how I feel before he goes. Mainly I want to do that because I want to know his feelings. Crazy - yes! Should I come clean or keep my mouth shut and wish him good luck?? I'm dying knowing that he wont be around anymore!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2010
Fri, 12-10-2010 - 11:31am

OK! I did it! It took me 6 months... but I did it.

I gave him the note. It was short and sweet (since I rewrote it a million times!) and I think I got my feelings across. He's gone now. Out of the state for a while.

Before he left, he texted and was suppose to come by but his plans were changed. He tole me he would much rather be here.. He did stop by right as he was leaving town. I got a great hug and some tears.

I gave him a few books for the road and stuck the note in one. I texted him after he left to tell him where it was. He said he saw it but didn't read it yet because he didn't want to start crying again :womansad:

But now I haven't heard a peep. I'm pretty OK with that. I mean squirrels are running around and I catch myself wondering if it was a bad idea. I also know he might not have read it yet (I wold've though! Curiousity would've gotten the best of me!) Or he may not know what to say.

Either way I can't keep my phone out of my sight!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Fri, 12-10-2010 - 5:51pm
How long ago did you give it to him? Let us know if he ever says anything about it. He might have taken it as something you didn't expect an answer to - you know, just getting off your chest how you felt about him, needing to let him know. Or he's planning what to say and how to say it. Hope he gives a response soon.
Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2010
Sat, 12-11-2010 - 5:20pm

It's been about three days. It didn't really ask for a response but I am hoping for something. I really don't care at this point if it's a simple "Wow, I had no idea!" or whatever lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Sat, 12-11-2010 - 5:45pm

He may choose to let the matter rest.. either for good.. or until he's settled and has time to respond and communicate if need be..

Try your best to think that you've done all you could at this point and never need to look back or second guess yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2010
Tue, 12-14-2010 - 11:48am

I got a response!

Basically my note just told him that It was killing me that he was leaving, that I care more than I should and some great things about him (cuz he's a great guy) and I ended it by saying I would miss him much more than I should.

I got a text yesterday saying he was right to wait until he got home to read it and that he misses me too.

What say you? I read into it but maybe too much. There is no way he could have known at the time if H was home etc. I told him I was glad he made it safely. Later I kicked myself for not saying more (this is common for me!) He's home with family so I feel like I should not really bother him. Do I just wait now to see if he has more to say after he digests everything or should I try to start a conversation about it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2010
Thu, 12-16-2010 - 2:37pm

Well, still haven't heard much except a little bit about the weather where he is. I'm trying to be patient and not initiate contact too much. I don't want to appear obsessive haha! Although if I initiated contact each time I thought about him it would be an embarassing number!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Thu, 12-16-2010 - 4:23pm
Sounds like he's mulling it over. He might choose to say nothing more about it - figuring that it would open a can of worms if he did. Or he might keep thinking it over till he says something! Try not to expect anything and then you won't be disappointed if that's what he chooses. And keep us updated!
Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2010
Sat, 12-18-2010 - 8:52pm

Thanks!

I'm glad I can come here - I cannot talk to anyone about this IRL.

I decided I cannot continue to initiate contact even if it's simple little texts. I feel desperate when I do. So, NC for me for 3 days now. If he needs time I can give that. If thats all I ever get, I'll be happy knowing that it seemed perhaps he felt something.

I'm sad that I stepped out of my comfort zone and created a vulnerable situation but it's out there and that's better than wondering for another 10 years. Somedays I wish I could take my words back but that fades. I'm glad I told him how I felt and now I'm kicking myself for expecting more from him in return.

I know he's got a lot going on with his family there (I believe his father is dying) and I'm being selfish! lol

Even without the PA aspect it is obvious that you are all right, it's a wild ride without even that.

I cannot stop thinking about him.. never could.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Sun, 12-19-2010 - 2:37am

I think it sounds like you are doing a really good job of playing it cool.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2010
Tue, 12-21-2010 - 5:17pm

I received a wonderful although short phone call today :-D I feel that I am just pathetic enough to hold on to this phone call for a long long time as some sort of glimmer of hope. He hinted to the fact that he is not having a wonderful time and H was home so I couldn't talk for an extended time. He wished me a very soft and sweet Merry Christmas.

My heart soars over such small things. Oh to have the courage of the lady in the NYT article!

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