hi ladies...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2003
hi ladies...
3
Wed, 09-17-2003 - 9:46pm
I'm a first time poster but long time lurker. Long story short, I'm married with two young children and have begun an affair with someone from my past. He is also married with young children and lives in another state. We've been involved off and on for eleven years and had been out of touch for the last 2.5 years (when I got married). After thinking about him alot I contacted him recently and just like that we're right back where we left off. I used to see him a few times a year when I was single and he was married, but eneded it when I became engaged. I thought that after 2 years, I'd have this thing licked.... He and I have a lot of history, we were together before he got married... Now we're talking about getting together in Nov. There's so much I want to say, but am still a little reluctant. Anyway,I just wanted to touch base with people who could relate.

Talk soon...

T

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: can_i_be_me
Wed, 09-17-2003 - 10:06pm
Hi T and welcome to the board,

It pleases me when long time lurkers come out of lurkdom... it gives me a sense that maybe we are doing something right to make you want to share with us all.

I can certainly relate to being in an EMA with both of us having small children... however MM is certainly not from my past... but I know there are a few on board who seem to have hooked up with long lost loves... so you certainly are not alone.

Feel free to say what you need or want to say whenever you're ready... just remember not to post anything too personal and you shouldn't have too many worries.

again... welcome aboard...

luv and hugs

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

Avatar for mikkolover
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
In reply to: can_i_be_me
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 3:19am
Last year i hooked up with a man i'd known and loved for 20 years. I flew to him from europe to seattle, and we had a nice weekend. I didn't expect.. ( but hoped) that things would develop and we were kissing the first night, having sex later that night. I am M, and he is single, and before then we just were normal friends, but he knew that i have been in love with him since i was 6. If something feels natural, go for it. You now have kids, and other lives will be affected if this progresses, so maybe see what you want really in life, later on. Can you see your relationship continuing with him this way for the next 20 years? I got lots of great advice from you ladies earlier this year, about me being so used to just having him there that i couldn't let go of him.. is that it maybe? you are just used to him being a part of your life, that you can't let him go??

I have since wrote him, told him that not having contact since 2 days after we slept together is not cool, and that after 20 years of hurt, and love, i have to let him go. If he thinks we are worth it, he can respond. He hasn't and that has killed me. But i need to know that what we had those 3 days were great, but i really couldn't see my life with him, and don't want to have him on the back burner for days i am lonley. I deserve better, and maybe you will think you do too.. good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
In reply to: can_i_be_me
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 8:32am
I COMPLETELY relate to you. In case you haven't seen any of my other posts, here's a brief history.

I met MM in college before either one of us was married. We dated off and on throughout college but eventually broke up due to bad timing. I ended up getting M to a guy I dated in high school, and MM ended up getting M about 2 years after I did. After 5 years of virtually NC, he emails me his cell # and asked me to call him. That was just over a year ago, and now we talk quite often. He lives in a different state than I do, we are about 8 hours apart from each other.

I understand about having a lot to say, but being reluctant. There were so many unanswered questions I had about 'us' but I was afraid to bring up the past for fear of not wanting to hear the truth. Finally, I just came out and asked what happened to us. His reply, "I really just f&%#ed up, bad. Worst mistake I made." I felt a lot better finally having an answer for that.

What was the reason for your break up the first time?

Looking forward to talking more with you.