Hi! New here and need some insights.
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| Sat, 02-07-2004 - 9:32pm |
In November 2003 I met (at a club) an airforce guy, from out of province, here on a course which ends in April. We are both in our late 30's. He and his girlfriend back home were broken up, I am married but he doesn't know that, he thinks I am separated from my husband (mentally and sexually I am). We started a casual sexual relationship, no phone #'s were exchanged, but if we happened to be at the club at the same time, it was somewhat a given that we would end up together at the end of the night. We both don't want anything else from this relationship except a "good time". Seeing as how we are both somewhat "regulars" at the club, we hook up just about every weekend. There is a strong sexual attraction and rapport. I look forward to seeing him as it has been a LONG time since I had any sexual feelings for someone and we have an amazing time together.
Well, he goes home for Christmas and when he comes back tells me that he and his girlfriend have decided to try it again, but that night at the club he is ALL OVER ME. Fine by me...we hooked up that night. The next week he tells me he wants to be "good" but the same thing happens. This Friday...ditto. Now, I must admit that I do my best to change his mind...but he doesn't resist too hard either. He tells me I make it very hard for him to behave.
We talked this Friday (after two great rounds of sex) about his wanting to be good and how he feels guilty after we are together. I said that I go with the philosophy of "what they don't know, won't hurt them" and he asked if I would like it if I knew my boyfriend was cheating. I said of course not, but I couldn't get hurt if I didn't know. I also told him I believe that if you are living apart from someone for 8 months, you shouldn't feel guilty is you're not faithful because you have needs. I also believe that biologically people were never meant to be monogamus although we have become so due to societies rules (he agrees with that). So we have this "being good and feeling guilty discussion" but when it's time for me to leave he drags me back into bed for a third round! When I finally do get around to leaving, he gives me a hug and kiss and says "I'll see you later".
In your opinions is he serious about wanting to be "good"? Has anyone else been in a situation similar to this and if so, how did it turn out? Should I back off even though I really don't want to?
Thanks in advance!!

I read your story it's very interesting. I feel about my husband the same as you do.
Anyway, I think this guy will definitly hook up with you again. His mind and his body aren't on the same page and the body will win. My only advice is be careful not to get into it emotionally. It is what it is.... if you have a good time but knowthere is nothing more let him deal with his own guilt.
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