Him,Him,Him
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Him,Him,Him
| Wed, 10-22-2003 - 6:44am |
MM and I haven't spoke for several days now. (Think maybe EMA is coming to an end). I can't help but run our past conversations thru my head. He would sometines tell me that "he wants me in his life for a long time", "I am part of his future", "I'm never letting you go" etc. He told me up front when this started that he wasn't leaving his current situation at home. Meeting and sometime phone calls were at his convience. I even asked him a few times to meet me for lunch/dinner etc, at unexpected times for him and he never abided. I even offered to pay for both food and gas (We live about 50 miles apart) just to see if something could be at my convience for once and it never was. I know that sometimes this is just part of it, but I didn't/don't want to "wait" for him like this. I feel like I have been/am being played. (And of course I allowed it.) Everytime we would have words and I say I think we needed to back off or cool things between us, He would always call saying he just can't do it, and he can't quit on what we have. Did he "have" anything really???
Signatures On
| Wed, 10-22-2003 - 8:29am |
I don't know how long your EMA has been going on, but if there's one thing I've learned, it's that you never know with these things. Several times I've thought things were over or things were going to stay the way they were (good or bad) for a long time. But I've learned that there's a lot of guilt and emotional baggage with an A and nothing is black and white. So you may think he's ending it but really he's just got a lot going on right now. Or maybe he IS trying to end it, but he won't be able to go through with it. It has just been several days, after all. I tried to end my A a few weeks ago...the worst three days I can remember...but I ended up being sucked back in. MM just stood by and waited patiently until I was through my tough time. And after that really dark spot, we've had the best two or three weeks we've had in a while. That INCLUDED a romantic getaway he took with his wife that ended up going really well. He came back still interested in me, which is unusual. Usually when things are going really well for them, the guilt kicks in big-time. I've found when I think things are over or that they're going to take a turn for the worse, often I'm pleasantly surprised.
