His vacation

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2013
His vacation
Sat, 03-02-2013 - 6:42pm

o my MM went on a vacation for 10 days with his W....we are on very limited contact. 


Im not sure which is worse, no contact or a text msg here and there that seems to arrive when I cant respond right away. I know I really have no right to complain because I am spoiled rotten by his attention, and his needs for communication are as high as mine so I know he is missing it just as much, but I am miserable. And of course, things with my H are absolutely spiraling out of control. So thanks for the double whammy!

We knew this was coming obviously, so we had a wonderful day together this week, we discussed how much this relationship has changed us and the perspective it shines on our "other life". We seem to have so many things in common, we feel the same about so many things, we even have the same phobias and same childhood experiences....in another life, another time.... We talked a lot recently about how we were not looking to fall in love, how we both were very unsure about the physical aspect and how far it would go. We met on am, we emailed for a month, met for our first date. We hugged at the very end, no hand holding or anything....sigh, he's such a gentleman...:) We did not get a second date for two more weeks, but since that first

date, I knew he was it. It has been a weekly date since then, sometimes two if his schedule brings him my way again. We knew we were in trouble when the sex was amazing lol. 

We both admit that luck intervened because he pursued me, I wanted local but gave him a shot because of his job. We both know how lucky we are to have eachother as well. I told him before he left that he owed me nothing, that I wanted him to have fun and enjoy himself. I also told him that if their trip sparked something anew between himself and his wife, that it was ok. His response was "I could never not see you again, I love you my princess". I honestly tried to keep up a wall to protect myself from getting hurt but those words broke the little bit that was left right down. I will admit that I have been careless with my heart and let her out there for a massive beating this time. 

I told him I would cry when I left, but then he told me he would never sleep if I cried. So in the interest of his business meetings he had the next two days before vacation, I held it together. He had tears in his eyes when he walked away. I left and had to pull over after a bit. I cried at work the night before he left when he emailed me from the airport to tell me how hard this was already and forvthe first time, he put ily in an email. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2013
Sat, 03-02-2013 - 7:00pm

Sorry, IV doesnt go well with my tablet and I was forced to post without finishing or editing. 

So now he is away, 8 days until normal communication again and 10 days until we see eachother again. Today is just about over so we can flip the countdown :) I got my gm text which is something I love and a few i miss yous, which I do appreciate because I know its hard for him to get those out there for me. 

I miss him so much it feels rediculous to miss him this much but I do. I wish I had one person irl to talk to about him but thats not a thought I can entertain. So I must unload here...sorry lol.  I hope someone can commiserate lol. 

And when the poop hits the fan at home, he is my friend who cheers me up with funny jokes and silly thoughts. I try not to give him details but he can tell from a text msg not answered or the way I word things that something is up. It seems selfish and immature to talk about my day with H while he is on vacation, even though he made me promise to tell him if anything happened. 

I suppose I just needed to vent. I went out to dinner with a girlfriend last night and we talked about my marriage and she assumed thats why I looked so sad. I wanted to say no fool, my heart is halfway around the world and I cant stand it already, let alone another 10 days!!! Its not the not being able to see him, I could handle that, its the communication cutoff that SUCKS THE BIG ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so Im ending my catharsis now...anyone else need to bitch or vent? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2007
Sat, 03-02-2013 - 11:32pm

Long-timer here (coming up on 7 years).  My AP takes a week vacation every year out of the country where phone/internet is very inconsistent.  Yes, not being able to communicate sucks. It was really hard the first couple of years, but I have learned to cope by keeping myself really busy.  I try to plan a home improvement project while he's gone, or plan to be on my own vacation with my kids.  The time goes by faster and I'm less sad/depressed/crabby if I have something else to focus on.  Hang in there!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2013
Sun, 03-03-2013 - 12:14am

Thanks Reality, I am super busy at work and have scads of household chores to catch up on, so I am good there. I told him Im going to finally finish our book we started together as well. Im glad there is someone out there that understands :)