His Wife Just Found Out

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2003
His Wife Just Found Out
5
Sun, 11-02-2003 - 10:58pm
What now? I'm a MW he's a MM, both of us have children. We kept telling ourselves we would end it on our terms. It just became so difficult. We are/were very close. Best of friends and lovers. We work together ... add THAT to the tangled skein.

His wife found his phone bill today. They had been having problems .... trying to work through them. I suppose her women's intuition kicked in.

I have no idea what's going on tonight. How much she knows or what to expect tomorrow. I'm afraid for MY family and MY job .... but also, I can't stop thinking of the the pain he must be going through.

We both understood we NEVER EVER would leave our families. But now, its out of control. She's been calling me, I answered once to no voice. What do I say to her? How do I respond not knowing exactly what he has told her? What happens if this comes to my job?

I created this monster and will have to live with it. I tell my daughter that she must own her mistakes and do her best to make a mends. I can't mend this. I'm so very troubled tonight. Thanks for reading my post. I needed to get this out somehow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 8:41am
Time to call in the damage control troops for this one ladies...lets give insanity some good sound advice here...

My suggestion is this...answer her call and let her ask you THE QUESTION. Tell her flat out that you have nothing to do with her marital dilemma and that if she has any questions she should be asking her husband, not you. Refuse to offer her any information that would indicate whether or not you and her husband are/were involved. You must talk to your MM and get your story straight incase this does end up effecting your jobs.

Bottom line is deny, deny, deny - admitting it will help no one...

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 9:09am

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2003
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 9:48am
Thank you .... you can't imagine how much I need this right now. I feel like my world is collasping around me. The hard part is keeping MY husband out of the loop.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2003
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 9:51am
Thanks .... your advice is sound. I have had no sleep contemplating this issue. What about the yahoos at work .... if they begin to ask questions and point fingers. Any suggestions?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 1:55pm
insanity - whether it's his W or people you work with, DON'T dignify their rumors, accusations, whatever with any answer. you have no idea what they are talking about. you work with this man and have been a professional/work friend and that's it. nothing more. never admit anything, even if his W has your telephone numbers on his bill. work questions/issues, that's all.

keep yourself above it all and it will work out. your H will stay out of it because the "talk" will be limited to work. if for some reason, your H hears something, just dismiss it with a shrug. nothing is going on, it's just "talk" and leave it alone.

i've been in a similar situation and part of another situation at my office. believe me, it's better when you don't even comment or react. the "talk" will eventually stop about you and MM. the yahoos at work will lose interest when they can't get a reaction.

take care,

gurl