Holy crap. He did it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2012
Holy crap. He did it!
11
Sat, 10-20-2012 - 9:06pm

I talked to him this morning and as he was hanging up, he said something that sounded like, "It'll be over sooner than you think."  I didn't have time to ask him what he said.  20 minutes later he texted me "well, she knows now."  I was in the truck with a friend and couldn't text back more than, "Wait...what?" and then had to wait FOUR HOURS before I could check it again.  

He was at home.  She asked him what was wrong.  He said nothing (and told me that as soon as he said it, he wished he'd taken the opportunity).  She said she knew something was wrong so he said that as a matter of fact, something was wrong.  She asked if there was another woman.  He said yes.  She asked if it was someone she knew.  He said no.  She asked who it was.  He said no.  She asked if anything had happened yet.  He said nothing had.  She asked if it meant that he wanted a divorce.  He said yes.  She asked if he'd give her two weeks to get things in order.  He said yes.  She said she'd take care of everything.  That was it.  As he was telling me, my jaw just kept dropping.  I was utterly speechless.  It was too easy.  I wonder if SHE has someone else but at the same time, she's very focused on appearances so maybe she wants to keep it quiet so she can save face?  OMG she's going to freak when someone finally finds out about me and tells her how young I am.  

So once I regained my ability to speak and asked him if he was okay, he said yes and then said that he hopes that after the new year, we can turn this A into a R and not hide anymore.  

Holy. crap.  He actually did it.  It wasn't exactly like we'd planned and honestly, I didn't expect him to take such a huge step before I moved out of my house.  So I'm just blown away now.  Blown away.  In a good way but still blown away.

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Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Mon, 10-22-2012 - 9:48am

Oh wow!!  I would be blown away also.  That is a huge step and so out of the blue for you. 

How are you feeling after a day to process it?

 

 

Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Mon, 10-22-2012 - 10:43am
Hey Cowgirl, Happy for you. Am hoping that he means what he says and that this is where your r-ship starts for real.. Can I ask you - how old are you? How old is he? Has this ever been a problem? Do you foresee it being a problem?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2012
Mon, 10-22-2012 - 11:16am
Still blown away. I pushed a conversation with H yesterday and found out that he is hesitating because he feels HE didn't give his all to fixing things. I told him that he didn't have the right to change his mind at this point. What's done is done. There is only talking about the future and how we're going to proceed with a separation. Cowboy is coming by today. He sounded much better this morning. And shockingly, his kids haven't contacted him yet. Knowing what I know about them, I would have expected his daughter to at least ask him, "wtf?"
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2012
Mon, 10-22-2012 - 11:26am
I'm in my 30's but look 28 or so. He's in his 50's but looks mid 40's. It's never been a problem for me and him. In fact, I think he's ruined me for younger guys forever ;) Will it be a problem for others? Heck yes. My parents will likely flip. His daughter is around my age so I can only imagine what she'll say. When I told my two closest friends about him and told him his age, they initially freaked and then then admitted it wasn't so bad when I pointed out that I just want companionship and love, not a baby daddy. As I was sitting there basically rattling off all the issues that were going to come up now and having a mini panic attack over how much trouble he's brought down on himself because of me, he chuckled and said, "I guess we can't spend holidays with each other's families for a while then eh?" It made me stop, calm down and giggle a little.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Mon, 10-22-2012 - 11:37am

 

So you're about 20 years younger.  If you were 20 and he 40 I'd say 'don't make any long term plans'. But at your ages.. who knows, might just work out good, and for good. MHO.Smile 

'.."I guess we can't spend holidays with each other's families for a while then eh?"  -  that's funny, and a cool  thing to say to someone who's all over the place about a situation like yours.

Truly wish you all the best of luck.. Please keep posting..I'm curious how it all turns out for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2012
Mon, 10-22-2012 - 11:01pm
22 to be exact. I told him that I fully expect him to trade me in for a younger model once I hit my 40's because I'll clearly be too old for him then ;) Today he said he can't wait until he can wake up in the morning, look over at me and say, "I want to take the horses out today" because he knows I'll say, "Where we going?" As simple as that is, it made my heart skip a beat. There's just something about him that I can't put my finger on. I fall into him and I'm just so blissfully lost. I forget to breathe. I think things and he turns around and says exactly what I was thinking. I was thinking today that 13 has always been my lucky # so maybe, just maybe 2013 will be my lucky year.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Tue, 10-23-2012 - 8:22am

 

'....There's just something about him that I can't put my finger on. I fall into him and I'm just so blissfully lost. I forget to breathe. I think things and he turns around and says exactly what I was thinking'

Beautiful. This is what the world dreams of, the  something you can't put the finger on that makes you feel lost.....

22 years...goodness. This is a big difference. Still..time will tell. You only live once, and all that...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2012
Tue, 10-23-2012 - 12:16pm

I'm responding to your husband's hesitation. He sounds a bit like mine. I think no matter how bad or broken things are, it is difficult to let go of what you feel comfortable with. However, I completely understand your feeling that it is over and essentially too late. I was that way. It was too little too late for me. My heart and head had already moved on. I wasn't going to drag something on that I knew at the end of the day had no chance of significantly changing and having to fake wanting it to at that point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2012
Wed, 10-24-2012 - 5:57pm

wow! i've been following your story for a while and just wanted to say i am blown away, too! but also in a good way! keep us updated! lots to process right now, i'm sure!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2012
Wed, 10-24-2012 - 5:57pm

wow! i've been following your story for a while and just wanted to say i am blown away, too! but also in a good way! keep us updated! lots to process right now, i'm sure!

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