Holy Crap....I can't believe I'm back...
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Holy Crap....I can't believe I'm back...
| Sat, 08-16-2003 - 8:43am |
When I first found this board, some 3+ years ago, I was in the midst of a full blown A. Both W and H knew, along with the entire office (yup, we work together). I was devasted at times and at times happier than I had been in my life. Since then, MM and I both divorced and he moved in w/me. We've been on and off ever since. Who would have thought that it would be so damn hard. It's just a relationship right? People have them all time! As it stands now, he's living on his own, closer to his kids. I asked him to leave (ever think you will??? It's crazy). I couldn't take the being a part time mother to his kids and not a lover to him. Make a long story short, I told him that until the day that he can give me his whole heart, put into the relationship what he gets out of it, make time for "us" to be alone together, to enjoy each other, I didn't want to see him. OMG, can you imagine??? Anyway, here's the question....If I date during this separation, am I cheating?? I mean, I love him but I will not wait forever. It's been over 3 years, if he doesn't know now that he loves me enough to give, then maybe he simply doesn't. Who knows? So here I am, back...........
C

Thanks for listening
C
I agree with iglh. If you tell him your intentions, how can that be cheating? It is up to him to decide what is really in his heart regarding your relationship. I am so sorry that things didn't work out for you both. On some level I can see how that could happen. I know that I only see the wonderful side of MM. We work together so every once in a while I see a hint of some less desirable traits and I say to myself..humm ...could I deal with this 24/7? Could also just be me talking myself out of something I know I can never have.
I say, be honest with him about the date and go and have fun. It doesn't have to end with sex. That way the bond with MM would still be intact until he decides what he wants. It may just be the push he needs.
Good luck
RH
Luv and hugs....I am trying...
C
Love to you and yours.....
C
I would tell him that I was going out with a male friend on a casual date and then I would go and have fun. I don't know your MM, but seems to me he should be able to deal with it especially since you told him that it was a possibility. But like IGLH said, its your choice in the end.
Hugs and let us know how it goes.
RH