honeymoon phase of an affair

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
honeymoon phase of an affair
9
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 10:32am

How long do you think the honeymoon phase of an affair lasts?


just a question....would like your input

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2009
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 10:40am

Only 2 or 3 months into mine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 10:44am
Hmmm... mine probably lasted a couple of years. However, even after it wore off, we've always treated each other the same and kept up the same amount of contact for the most part (some differences when I'm away - I used to make more of an effort to keep in touch just to reassure him I think).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2007
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 10:48am
Hmmmmm..... Depends on how fast real life gets in the way. Sick kid, sick wife, he gets sick, loss of job, death of a family member, injury, stress, suspicious spouse etc, etc etc....anything you can think of that would bring on some sort of soul searching type thoughts that stop you in your tracks. Obviously the longer the honeymoon phase lasts until one of these things happens the better the chance of making it through to the other side of it. AP and I have been through ALL of these. Honeymoon phase is way over. LOL! That's when you HAVE to take the good with bad if you want to continue.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2007
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 10:54am
oops...all in all..it was a few months. Started in October years ago, hit a rough spot through April and May. Took a break for a few weeks. Started back in July. HIt a rough spot on my end in September. (MIni D-day) but started back in October and been together better or worse since.4 years. Sometimes I can't believe it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 5:12pm

was just wondering..for me it was a year then we hit a rough spot then the honeymoon phase started all over again....


after i stopped talking to him for 6 months the honeymoon phase started over once again....but we have our spats..or i have spats at him

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 6:10pm

we both started quite hot and heavy.. and realized (well she did and made me :-) ) that such a pace is not sustainable and most likely destructive.. that was about 5-6 months into the A.. if we call that a honeymoon.. since then, we are still learning about each other day by day, and enjoy each other as very close friends and more.. i personally see this as an extended, never-ending honeymoon, since we rarely, actually never, fight or argue, and treat each other with respect, and share every day with each other as it comes and as much as it is possible and safe.. of course, that doesn't mean that there isn't an endless ribbing of each other going on daily, but that's just too much fun to give up.. what else can an AP ask for, right?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 6:40pm

Chechi you made some good points. Our Honeymoon stage (in my other similar post on this issue) lasted about 3 mths. But he had a fee 'life moments' around that time- including (and I hadnt thougnt about this before) visiting his Mum OS and learning more about her affair (which happened 20years ago and ruined his family- she is now married to the AP).


So yes maybe those soul searching moments that bring home the guilt issues with an A, can end the honeymoon stage quickly.


But as others said, the intensity of that stage is very hard to sustain and was quite honestly making me wonder what the hell was going to hapen- I never wanted to leave my family- so his 'we are meant to be together forever' stuff was causing me some stress.


But I do miss the overtly loving things he used to say- just appealed to the romantic in me I guess- and fed my 'everything is about me' monster :)

You are what you consistently do
You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 7:37pm

LOL Iggy @ your 'everything is about me' monster ....I have one of those too!! LOL :-)


I think with your AP (who reminds me sooooo much of mine sometimes) he really did just realise he had to get an intellectual grip on his emotions in order to maintain your R in these circumstances.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 9:29pm
ha ha ha..yeah i have that same 'everything is about me' monster thingy going on too..he says it all the time...but hey he made it that way..like i told him you wanted to be my superhero to put that s on your chest and wear it proud...this is what you wanted....deal with it...

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss