hopelessly in love....................
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hopelessly in love....................
| Sun, 12-28-2003 - 12:22pm |
Hello, Iam very new to this board. I will start out by saying I have been married for 10+ yrs. My husband and I have had our problems but have stayed together through it all. Over the past four of so years, I have felt an attraction to one of my brother in laws who is married to my husband's sister. We will call him "Timmy". Timmy and I have always joked around with each other. Called each other on our cell phones for no apparent reason but a stupid made up one. Even brushed by each other or touched the shoulders of one another at family gatherings. He is always running his hands through my hair to say how long it is or if I walk by him, he will out of no where pull it and then turn around smilling. Once, oh my god, he even stroked my hair during a long car ride back from Foxwoods with his wife sitting right besides him! What was that all about? I never asked, he never told. Iam so confused and upset with myself for letting this infatuaion grow and blossom at least on my part into a full fledged emotional affair. I think about him all of the time. I long to be near him and when Iam near him, I turn a bright shade of red. I think he feels the same way too but even if he does, it cannot be. I would not disrespect my husband or his wife by crossing the line. He has even called me beautiful on a couple of occasions. Why would he do all of these things? Is he feeling what Iam feeling? Or is he just very friendly? He does not run his hands through anyone else's hair in the family and believe me, he has 5 other sister in laws to do so with! :}I cannot read him. Part of me wants to ask him why he does some of the things he does. I get very mixed signals from him. Part of me wants to forget about him entirely and stop hurting myself with my delusions of a reciprocated made up relationship. Does anyone have any advice for me please? By the way, he is a State Trooper which complicates the matter more. I cannot even look at him when he is in uniform!! Red does not even describe the colors I turn! Any advice please? Thanks guys, hopeless in Massachusetts.

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"Part of me wants to ask him why he does some of the things he does. I get very mixed signals from him. Part of me wants to forget about him entirely and stop hurting myself with my delusions of a reciprocated made up relationship."
It is very difficult for me to be having an emotional affair with my brother in law and not even knowing if it is all in my head...if I were to tell him and he revealed that he felt the same, it could potentially destroy my marriage but the thought of him not feeling the same and having it be completely one-sided it too mortifying to imagine.
If you would like someone to talk to feel free to email me at magsmith2003@hotmail.com. BTW I live in CT. Good luck, how have you lived with this for 4 yrs? I always thought my BIL was attractive but my obsession only began a little over a year ago (been married 5 yrs).
Edited 1/4/2004 11:31:46 PM ET by thekidsandi4
we sometimes get so serious here and i think its good to give a little levity to the situation...even us OW need to smile sometimes. with that said....can i say that if it was me i would be at more risk of going after him in uniform than any other time...jsut soemthign about a man in uniform that really does it for me. hmmm...maybe its the handcuffs? LOL
laura
%$#tch! I don't really understand why he was standing directly behind us but then I saw him look over at us, walk out of the room and go into the room where his wife was to hug her. Then , one of my other brother in laws hugged and kissed me, so did another one. So, okay now, after everyone in the whole entire household had wished each other happy new year with hugs and kisses, him and I were standing next to each other in the kitchen and he just stuck out his arms and I hugged him. I could have died right there! :) He gave me the most driest, stiffest, militarish hug I have ever received. He is not much of an emotional guy, but for petes sake, at least be alittle warmer! Oh my god, you were actually going to tell your's to kiss you? And you kept touching him all night? Me too. Well, not the kissing part, but just in trying to pass by him in the kitchen I would put my hands on his waist and say "excuse me kiddo." AARGGGGGHHHHH! This is horrible! Like you, I could also go on talking about this. So, did you feel he gave you any signals last night and did anyone like hubby or gf catch on? That must be so hard for you because it sounds like you see him more than I see "Tim." What does he look like? I know my big attraction to him besides how hot he looks in uniform is his smile. Oh my god. He could melt ice with that smile. And he has great dimples when he smiles also. I wish I could scan you a pic of him. Well, my eyes are closing. I think Iam going to hit the hay to get up early and clean my messy house tomorrow morning. Fun fun. Goodnight.
many times that I wanted to ask him why he does some of the things he does. I know that by doing so, it could potentially open up a can of worms I might not be able to close. He could either tell me his reasons, tell his wife on me or worse, tell my husband with whom he is really close to. So, he can never know. I honestly think he can see it in my eyes and my body language. We always manage to sit next to or across from one another. Sometimes legs or feet touch and neither one of us move. One time, a few of us were driving back from Foxwoods and I was sitting in the back trying to sleep with my head resting on the window. His wife was next to me and he had his arm around her. She had her head down on his shoulder so I don't think she realized what had happened but about 10 minutes into my nap, I felt someone gently stroke a hand down my hair. I was flipping inside but couldn't say a word. I just pretended to still be sleeping but my little heart was going about a mile a minute. I never asked and he never told. This was 3 years ago and I think the point of asking now would be mute. Should I ever bring this up to him? He would probably deny it or say it was by mistake. Oh no, this was not an accidental brushing or stretching but a full fledged stroking of my hair. Would you ask? Iam truly afraid of what he might say.
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