hopelessly in love....................

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
hopelessly in love....................
19
Sun, 12-28-2003 - 12:22pm
Hello, Iam very new to this board. I will start out by saying I have been married for 10+ yrs. My husband and I have had our problems but have stayed together through it all. Over the past four of so years, I have felt an attraction to one of my brother in laws who is married to my husband's sister. We will call him "Timmy". Timmy and I have always joked around with each other. Called each other on our cell phones for no apparent reason but a stupid made up one. Even brushed by each other or touched the shoulders of one another at family gatherings. He is always running his hands through my hair to say how long it is or if I walk by him, he will out of no where pull it and then turn around smilling. Once, oh my god, he even stroked my hair during a long car ride back from Foxwoods with his wife sitting right besides him! What was that all about? I never asked, he never told. Iam so confused and upset with myself for letting this infatuaion grow and blossom at least on my part into a full fledged emotional affair. I think about him all of the time. I long to be near him and when Iam near him, I turn a bright shade of red. I think he feels the same way too but even if he does, it cannot be. I would not disrespect my husband or his wife by crossing the line. He has even called me beautiful on a couple of occasions. Why would he do all of these things? Is he feeling what Iam feeling? Or is he just very friendly? He does not run his hands through anyone else's hair in the family and believe me, he has 5 other sister in laws to do so with! :}I cannot read him. Part of me wants to ask him why he does some of the things he does. I get very mixed signals from him. Part of me wants to forget about him entirely and stop hurting myself with my delusions of a reciprocated made up relationship. Does anyone have any advice for me please? By the way, he is a State Trooper which complicates the matter more. I cannot even look at him when he is in uniform!! Red does not even describe the colors I turn! Any advice please? Thanks guys, hopeless in Massachusetts.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 10:10am
He is about 5'11'', dark hair and the most amazingly vibrant blue eyes, it is his eyes that really snow me. I am very partial to dark hair and blue eyes to begin with, and he has this chiseled face, broad shoulders etc...could have been a freakin model for gods sake. Plus personality-wise he is very much like H, funny, mellow, real laid-back and easy to get along with...while we were chatting at the bar I kept touching his arm, leaning against his leg etc...now I keep reliving that night while I am trying to sleep, KWIM? I am so sick of feeling this way- it's like my life has become all about when am I going to see him again, nothing else matters. It is not good for me. Do you think about your BIL all day and all night? I know I do, I wish I knew how he felt about me b/c your BIL is obviously giving you signals, mine doesnt' do anything as obvious as yours. Over the summer I felt a lot more vibes than now, he seems closer to his GF now than he did and I am am so jealous, PATHETIC!!Please keep posting, we are in the exact same dilemma and I need to talk about it before I lose my mind!! I wish you had email...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 2:41pm
HEy ladies....one thing....your making me nervous. Please please be careful. I feel like you are sharing to much information that could blow your cover. Please don't use any real names or talk about job careers...You really never know if someone you know is having an A and on this board and recognizes your details...or if someone is just snooping...haveing a suspicion. YOu both should really be talking on email given the details you want to discuss. IF your both new to this board...we tend to get criticized from other boards. YOu really need to be more careful.

Take Care.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 3:16pm
hi sandi for me my special married friend is he and W and the daughter are very close friends of yours. he know me since 1979 when 16 now 25 years later im 40.he has given me so many mix single all the time so i do know how you feel and what going through.he kiss me me on mouth first time on christmas nigth 25 1987 tehn oct 1991 he rang me up told me he love me.i know man so well he doesn't hold other women like he has me. and also doesn't touch them like he has to me.i can remember one time he was at my house he took me in arms holding me touching me on my body. tell do misunderstand that but now acting liek nothing has happen between us my heart is broken feel so sad. all the time he told me love me he had special loving name he call me to.if like e-mail me to and talk geaoann@yahoo.com anytime. wish new ` what say to you be careful ok since this your bil be alot problems with this, big husg kimmy
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 10:58pm
I would except he is balding and doesn't have much to stroke. LOL :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 11:15pm
He sounds beautiful! No wonder you are smitten with him. Mine has beautiful eyes as well, that sometimes I feel like they go right through me to see what Iam thinking. I think you can also tell alot about a person from their eyes. Does your bil look you directly in the eyes when having a conversation with you? I think that is the sexiest thing to do to someone you are interested in is hold their gaze and try to read what their eyes are saying. Yes, I think about mine day and night, night and day. It is almost ridiculous. I will be food shopping...... there he pops into my mind. The hairdresser under the dryer...... yup, he's there. The worst time of day that I think about him the most is at bed time. My poor husband is lying there next to me and the only thing I can think of is my bil. I feel awful. What you and I are going through I think can definetly be put into the category of emotional infidelity. I was weak and emailed him today to ask his advice about a town hubby and I were thinking of buying a house in. He knows alot of the areas as far as the crime rate of a town and so I look to him for advice. I keep my emails short and sweet but we always end emails with later gater. A corny phrase he started saying to me. When will you have to see your bil again? I probably won't see mine until the next family gathering I think in May. It's better that way I think. I hate going to parties, seeing him there and leaving. The time goes by so fast. I always have fun and socialize with everyone and try to stay neutral with him, but he will end up pulling my hair or bumping into me when he passes me. It could just be his nature too. And this whole time I have fantasized about him sharing my feelings. He is kind of a strange duck I guess you could say. He loves kareoke in front of the whole family and did a horrible ear drum blowing rendition of Elvis's Love me tender! LOL It was cute to me though, and I could not even look in his direction because I think I was smiling way too much! :)Iam sorry. Everytime I write you, Iam only blabbing on about my bil when I should be asking you questions and letting you blab. Well, the next message you write, please blab on the way I did just now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 11:18pm
Hi Sabrina, I don't quite understand how we are being too open. I have not used my real name or his and have not said anything explicit. I was not trying to offend or make anyone nervous.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sun, 01-04-2004 - 11:20pm
Trust me, nobody in my family because it is only me and my sis or anyone in my hubby's family would go on here. I do understand what you mean though and will try to get a seperate email address to talk. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Mon, 01-05-2004 - 7:58am
Believe me, I could blab about him for days...yes he is in my mind all the time, wherever I am and whatever I am doing it is so ridiculous. Once in a while I will not think of him for a bit and then it will hit me Hey, I haven't thought of **** for a whole 20 minutes!! I see him on an almost daily basis, not sure if that makes it better or worse. Like I said before when we went away for a week I almost lost my mind, felt like a caged animal. It was horrible. I just saw him, he was dressed for work and looked amazing, I can hardly look at him when he is spruced up, it is easier when he is just hanging out here and looks scruffy. He used to look at me alot, seems to avoid eye contact somewhat lately which makes me worry that I overdid it w/the emails or on NY eve and he didn't like it. When we talk and we are looking directly at each other I get lost in his beautiful eyes (SO CORNY but true) and I get flustered, have actually lost track of what he was saying b/c I am so distracted by him looking at me, I have to cover my embarrassment. So actually I cant look at him too much. He is so lovely you would not believe it. It's not just that though, I love being around him, would ask a million questions about what he thinks about if I could, I just want to know him better. It will never happen and I just don't know how to move on esp. when he practically lives here. He has no idea (I think) how I adore him. I have even considered confessing and asking him to please not come around so much b/c I just cant handle his constant presence but I dont really want him to stop coming over, plus I would be so mortified! Yesterday I sat next to him on the couch (GF on his other side) and the entire time my concentration was focussed on the feeling of his arm against mine, our legs rested together for a second and I almost died, I dont know if I can be this attracted to someone that I see so often without losing my mind!!!! I can't believe you wont see yours until May, gotta go H is coming, write back and get email if you can!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Tue, 01-06-2004 - 10:09pm
Hey thekidsandi4, hope you are still posting...

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