Hot or cold today?
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Hot or cold today?
| Mon, 03-29-2004 - 9:17am |
So I'll be off to work in an hour and I'm wondering if MM is going to be hot or cold today. We work together, and it's always so hard to tell, especially since he likes to have NC on weekends. I was off work Friday and he was working but could have slipped away and I suggested he come by, but no phone call, nothing on Friday. I sometimes get so confused and frustrated. Why do they do that, the hot and cold thing? Two weeks ago I asked him to be honest with me and asked him if his feelings for me were fading and he said no, that he's just been busy, but why is he too busy to call and say hi or to email me or stop by my desk? He's not too busy to go flirting with the other women in the office. I just wish sometimes I could figure out what he is thinking or is he even thinking about me. Sometimes I think out of sight, out of mind....Thanks for letting me vent, we'll see how the day goes. Hope everyone else is doing better.
ibc

It's b*llsh*t if you ask me. They are too busy to take a minute to send a quick email? I'm getting to the point where I don't think I want to be treated like that anymore. I don't know about you, but I am thinking about ending it between us. I am getting tired of the "say one thing, do another". One minute saying he wants to see me, the next, I dont hear from him for a week or more.
I'm tired of this crap./
Dusty
I feel your anger and it is bullsh*t. We shouldn't have to put up with this crap, but we do, why? I'm not in love with MM, but I know I care about him tremendously. The only reason I'm not in love with him is because I'm trying damn hard not to and because of the way he is with the hot/cold thing. It would be so much easier to fall for someone whom you thought might feel the same way for you, but if he doesn't, I sure as heck don't want to get hurt, but we still end up getting hurt regardless...This sucks!
So he didn't ignore me today, we actually had a very long talk about his M and his upcoming baby. I'm glad I could be a support for him, but I hope at the same time that he does not think that I'm trying to get info out of him for my benefit or that I'm trying to manipulate his relationship in anyway, but I bet tomorrow he will feel uncomfortable about the things he shared and will ignore me. I told him a couple of weeks ago that I was going to view this A differently and not get so emotionally involved. Of course that was full of crap because that's what I thought he wanted to hear. I thought he did not want me to get emotional or attached b/c I was sure he does not feel the same way about me, but I don't know, am I wrong. If things in his M are so difficult, does he actually have stronger feelings for me and that's why he's even in an A with me, because trust me he can have an A with anyone else and has people sitting there willing to, so it makes me wonder why he "chose" me. Does he feel something more for me than I realize or am I just kidding myself?
ibc
But in our situation, there is a travel time as well as he has to cross the US Border which is really a hassle these days, and you never know how traffic is.
So he has to plan on taking the whole afternoon off just to come over and see me for a couple of hours, and he does that almost every week.
So I can't help thinking, if its only about the sex, he could EASILY find someone alot closer to him. Or at least in the same Country!! I'm sure he could find something alot more convenient for him, being a busy business man and all. (a little sarcasm there)
He has said before he was fond of me or this wouldn't have lasted so long (2 years). But still, I haven't heard from him yet this week (its 2 weeks ago today we last talked), I don't know what the heck is going on.
He could be on vacation for all I know but he doesn't keep me in the loop.
I'm really undecided what I will do if/when he gets ahold of me again. Because I'm going to have to let him know how I feel about this NC and if he expects to continue seeing me, he'd better smarten up!!
Dusty