How can I get him to say YES!!!!?
Find a Conversation
How can I get him to say YES!!!!?
| Tue, 05-25-2004 - 9:58am |
My MM broke it of with me about 2 months ago. We see each other every day since we work together. He says he loves me and wants me but the pressure of the A had gotten to him. He wants to cool it for awhile. I can't stand being without him. I ask him to kiss me or make love to me and he says he can't. This morning I asked him to pick me up at the garage since I had to drop off my SUV. On the way to work I playfully rubbed his crotch. He said "you never quit do you?" I said no and continued to rub him. He never told me to stop or push my hand away. He says no but when I can get him alone he is all over me. The problem is that he knows that so he avoids alone time with me. Although he did say yes to picking me up this morning. He was even early at the garage and he is never early anytime. I love him. Can someone please tell me how I can get him back? Please don't tell me to leave him alone. I tried. I can't. Thank you in advance.

If you can't stand being without him, you probably need to seek counseling. He's made his intentions clear, you need to respect that.
rain
while this may seem like the right approach to you to get him back, i suggest you back off and give him the space he needs. by pushing things or tempting him you might just push him away all together. show him you respect him by respecting his wishes. when he realizes this, he will decide if he wants to continue the affair. if you haven't already, talking to him about what happened may help. if you don't, and you guys heat things up again then he may just end up right back here when the pressure gets to him.
You have to accept that he has chosen to put this affair on the back burner for the time being, and let go. As hard as it is, you have to respect his wishes. If you truly love this guy you will give him the space that he is asking for to sort out his mind.
Time away from each other may be just what you need for him to realize what he's got with you! Just don't waist your days obsessing over this, as hard as it may be... it's an awful road to get off. It will drive you into insanity!
Hugs, Jen
I finally called him on the carpet (he just wouldn't stop the flirting) and told him I was working on issues i had with him, one of which was that I still missed him but in time I would be just fine. He almost immediately said he missed me too and we started talking about US. That was over 4 mos ago and we are still together, well as far as I know we are, because as well all now these affair things aren't the normal relationship and even in a normal one they can end just as fast as they start.
So my advice is to back off. If you keep going at the pace, if he decides that he does want to be in an EMA it just might not be with you!
good luck
dd
What I learned from this is that all the tricks in the book will not force someone to say "yes" in the long run, when the real answer is "no". You can't make someone feel something they don't and even if you convince them for a short while to come back to you, what have you gained in the long run?
Good luck.