I don't have a lot of advice to offer, just wanted to say I am sorry you are going through his. Eight years is a long time to devote yourself to one person and then be handed this. I have a very low self esteem too. This is why I have stayed in my M as long as I have, fear of moving on. Your AP is probably trying to sort things out in his mind but expecting you to be there again when he feels the need to talk with you. I hope by then you find the strength to keep a distance from him. I'm sure all of your emotions are going to scream that you want to be back with him. Count each day as a victory for yourself, be strong.
Oh, the letter writing thing....I have done that with my H. He has a problem listening when I talk so that was the only way I could get my point across. He does not like it when I do it though.
I can share some light - guessing of course.... staring with the premise that we are all wired so different - yet there are some commonalities...... such as a man's ability to compartmentalize.... he "could" have some feelings of guilt - some feelings of figuring out where he is at in this point of his life - being in an affair with someone I believe he truly cares for - and now he has stepped back to figure out where "he" is at a new baby, his marriage and your relationship...... sometimes its easy to step back and maybe not address these issues or slowly think them through. I am sure he will communicate with you.... it is not fair but that how some mean deal with these types of emotional issues - close a few doors.... and then sit back and see if anyone knocks, breaks in or tries to go through a window.
I do not believe he forgot - nor ever will - it is such a commitment to be with someone for long. you can't change how he chooses to cope....but rest assured he still cares very much for you......... I really believe that....
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I don't have a lot of advice to offer, just wanted to say I am sorry you are going through his. Eight years is a long time to devote yourself to one person and then be handed this. I have a very low self esteem too. This is why I have stayed in my M as long as I have, fear of moving on. Your AP is probably trying to sort things out in his mind but expecting you to be there again when he feels the need to talk with you. I hope by then you find the strength to keep a distance from him. I'm sure all of your emotions are going to scream that you want to be back with him. Count each day as a victory for yourself, be strong.
Oh, the letter writing thing....I have done that with my H. He has a problem listening when I talk so that was the only way I could get my point across. He does not like it when I do it though.
Good luck to you.
I can share some light - guessing of course.... staring with the premise that we are all wired so different - yet there are some commonalities...... such as a man's ability to compartmentalize.... he "could" have some feelings of guilt - some feelings of figuring out where he is at in this point of his life - being in an affair with someone I believe he truly cares for - and now he has stepped back to figure out where "he" is at a new baby, his marriage and your relationship...... sometimes its easy to step back and maybe not address these issues or slowly think them through. I am sure he will communicate with you.... it is not fair but that how some mean deal with these types of emotional issues - close a few doors.... and then sit back and see if anyone knocks, breaks in or tries to go through a window.
I do not believe he forgot - nor ever will - it is such a commitment to be with someone for long. you can't change how he chooses to cope....but rest assured he still cares very much for you......... I really believe that....
Pages